Two and a half hours (less promotions, competitions, adverts and padding - so one hour and forty minutes) of X-Factor tonight is an ordeal. Removing all the cliches would get rid of another twenty minutes, and playing Gary Barlow's (Thomas the Tank / TTT) comments at full speed would cut another ten minutes from the running time. Anyway, how many more times will I have to hear Louis (the Elf) confirming to me that so-and-so 'deserves to be on that stage'?
The whole 'twist' shit is a cop-out, and basically it means that rather than the judges picking just three acts to go through, they have allowed 4 interloper acts to hang on and fool themselves for one more week, with no ability for the public to have influence. So, the four judges will by tomorrow [probably they've decided already] get rid of one of the four and allow the ten week run to Christmas work for one per week to drop out.
I would prefer that the four worst were kicked out by a vote. That way, I suspect that we could probably chop the hopes of Louis winning by three quarters! Instead, I have no doubt that we'll be seeing a good singer go home while a waster is retained for a while longer.
Amelia Lily - Okay. Not good, not bad, probably sounds better if you're there. Will probably have to go because the category is strong.
Johnny - Oh dear. Why did Louis ever pick him; lovely chap, no doubt, but a gerbil in a mac.
Rhythmix - Okay. With not too much effort, they sort of suggested they'll be okay and get better.
Frankie - Oh dear. For some reason Gary likes him, as will 13-year-old girls. TTT did himself no service by suggesting his worries about Frankie's voice were misplaced. Unfortunately it is quite clear that he cannot really sing, and strains to squeeze out the words at half speed. I suspect that the breathy Joanna Lumley could rustle up a better effort at singing/gushing between jaunts to Egypt and Greece.
Sophie - Someone who can, and did sing. And the first one on stage not to be joined by a whole tribe of people jerking around and cluttering up things.
JonJo - Oh dear. Poor. Hope that he doesn't get picked to go through just because he's a soldier. Elf, you have the shittest group.
Two Shoes - Okay. I think they are fun, and at least they can sing.
James Michael - Oops. Weak. Thought he'd be a bit better than that! He looked like he was auditioning for a part in Oliver!
Misha Bryan - Good. Interesting. Not scared to be herself. She can sing!
Nu Vibe - Bollocks.
Marcus Collins - Good. Nice chap, modest, and he can sing.
Sami Brookes - Okay. She can sing but is probably limited to ballads and noisy stuff. The Elf comes out with "I totally believe in you" - this is the man who chose Goldie and ditched Sami; then he asked her back when Goldie dropped out. Idiot.
The Risk - Okay. A bit wimpy but probably 'could' get better. However Supergroup my arse! Tulisa (TC) took a risk but I prefer to think that she was so desperate to cobble together something to make up the numbers, she had no real choice.
Craig Colton - Excellent!
Kitty Brucknell - Very Good. Weird woman, but no doubt she can sing, and she's interesting.
Janet Devlin - Excellent.
TTT, Elf, KR & TC can all now bin someone tomorrow and the competition proper can start next Saturday.
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