1st Place - "Sometimes I have to stand in the yard to cool down"
2nd Place - "What about oregano, isn't that a spice? [Ref it not being possible to spell 'CUNT' with the spice pots printed with big initial letters at Morrisons, as there isn't one with beginning with 'U']
3rd Place - "Yeah, but I don't go in cheek first" [Commenting on hot baths]
4th Place - "Is she gonna swing round that post as well?" [Ref a woman walking quickly and purposefully along a Spanish street, behind an old man who was exercising by walking backwards and forwards, swinging round a post at the end of his short 'course']
5th Place - "Thick men don't read"
6th Place - Views on Zombies: three in a row
a) "Black people make crap zombies; you can't see their make-up"
b) "That is actually a compliment though, because they really need the make up"
c) "They look much better dead than white people"
[ We all know what she meant but she treads a thin line, though with total innocence ]
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