Exchange Number 1
LP: "Some people are so black, they're blue."
JR: "Yeah, they're like petrol."
Exchange Number 2
Lorraine: "The book I'm reading is set in Norway, about a serial killer who leaves a snowman at the scene of each crime."
TMWSC: "They should look for someone with cold hands and a bag of carrots."
Exchange Number 3
Scene - Petrol station; a car has just pulled up and parked by the side of the shop, and the woman driver has entered, just ahead of TMWSC who has just finished filling up with petrol. He gets to the till just as the woman is starting to talk to the assistant.
Woman: "Just a car wash, please," she says, holding a five pound note in her right hand.
Assistant: "No fuel?"
Woman: "No"
Assistant: "Which one would you like?"
The woman looks at the display card showing the three options, and chooses the cheapest
Woman: "Just the three-pound-fifty one please."
Assistant: "That will be three pounds and fifty pence please."
[No shit, Sherlock!]
...
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