There's no end to it; everywhere you look (and listen) there's evidence of uselessness. A van drove past me recently, signwritten with "Andys Tidy Gardens" - no fucking apostrophe between the 'y' and the 's'. Criminal!
In Yorkshire Trading last week, my personal space was invaded by an 'infomercial'. This is a new (made-up) word that has itself invaded the fucking dictionary! A monitor was playing an advert on a loop, showing some sort of cooking marvel that will help all twats eat more healthily. Anyway, the wonderful line that I heard was: "Your food will cook in their own juices." What useless cunt put that advert together?
On Escape to the Country last week, the presenter said: "Fingers crossed that one of the two work out." ONE WORKS! Moron.
Ian Wright, writing in the Sun Newspaper, was guilty of a fuck up: "I have to admit our chances of winning this Euro Championship are very unlikely." No, Ian; our chances are slim, or we are unlikely to win, but a chance cannot itself be unlikely.
On Channel 4 Racing, Haley Turner came out with a classic: "He has his own ideas on how he wants his horses to be rode." Nob!
The TV listing in the Saturday Daily Mail last weekend included on Channel 5 "Close Encounters of the Third Kind: Director's Cut". That bit wasn't the problem, it was the following explanatory note: "Alternate cut of Stephen Spielberg's sci-fi drama." ALTERNATIVE!
Shit everywhere - and eventually even the Oxford bods allow the dictionary to be fucked up because if enough people are thick, then we dumb-down the whole pissing language.
R.I.P. the UK and society . . . .
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