15.7.12 Euro Annoying Championships

Group A

Kelly Brook
Cheryl Cole / Tweedy
Rihanna
Naomi Campbell

Group B

Lenny Henry
Griff Rhys Jones
Robert Peston
Antony Cotton

Group C

Stuart Pearce
David Coulthard
Sepp Blatter
John Terry

Group D

Halifax
Santander
Procter & Gamble
Co-operative

Reserves
1st Reserve - Barbara Windsor
2nd Reserve - Jane Horrocks
3rd Reserve - Confused.com

Explanatory Notes From the Pundits

Group A: This is a tight group, and it's hard to call it.  Cheryl Cole/Tweedy can't sing, while Rihanna can't avoid being in the press all the time and feeding a media obsession.  Naomi Campbell is unworthy of any comment, thought or attention, period.  Kelly Brook simply does nothing at all, but gets her picture taken for no reason; utterly pointless.

Group B: Lenny Henry stopped being funny more than 20 years ago, but somehow there are people in charge who think he's owed exposure and reward?  Griff Rhys Jones is of course everywhere these days, and annoying as fuck.  'Eternal Hell' would be best summed up by having to listen to Robert Peston.  Antony Cotton is simply unendurable for anything past 4 seconds.

Group C: Stuart Pearce has displayed the consequences recently of being psycho.  David Coulthard is vying for the 'Eternal Hell' slot with Robert Peston.  Sepp Blatter - do I need to spell it out in four letters?  John Terry is simply a no brainer for this competition.

Group D: The corporate competitors have every chance this year, what with the rage-inducing singing from Halifax choirs, Santander adverts that melt brain cells, and the P&G world domination that's in play at the moment.  As for the Co-op, simply 'Good with annoyance'.

Reserves: There was fierce competition for a reserve spot, and the two humans are deserved winners, each having nauseating voices.  The corporate support is provided by Confused.com which has now officially overtaken Go Compare as provided of the most annoying adverts.

Disqualified: Madonna.  Unfortunately the organisers cannot condone use of the very unsightly right tit as a means of gaining extra attention, and supplementing general annoyance levels.

Terms & Conditions - This competition excludes all politicians, those associated with TOWIE and Big Brother, or anyone who's ever appeared on Take Me Out.  Katie Price is permanently excluded so as to give other entrants a chance of a place in the final.

...