What a nerve these people have! With the house for sale, and only one viewing so far, the agent just called to see if I wanted to reduce the price. This was always going to be the next step, after an initial period at what was the correct selling price. What with the economic downturn, and the pointlessness of things dragging on an unnecessarily long time, I agreed that the sale price can be dropped - by the not insignificant sum of £25,000. So, the agent was fairly pleased, and why wouldn't she be! The sale commission is about well over £5,000 and I had just made her job inordinately easier.
Part two of her approach involved announcing that for premium homes [sucking up a bit there], an 'audio tour' was something that has 'reduced the click through rate by 33%'. Whatever the fuck that means, I do not know. When you have had a single viewing, shit like that is not quite relevant, especially when it is a preamble to another sales pitch. Apparently the normal cost of the audio tour is £395, but 'at the moment' it is down to £85.00 and it could improve things for attracting interest. I rather thought that a £25,000 price reduction was of marginally more interest. With this in mind I suggested the following.
"If I have done my bit by contributing a £25,000 reduction in the price, which could help me get a sale and help you more easily earn five and a half grand commission, why don't you try to speed along earning that money for yourself by contributing the £85 it costs to have the 'audio tour'? If it's really good, it would be a worthwhile step on your part, surely?"
Silence. Followed by a half chuckle and sidestep-mumble that suggested (without the exact words being expressed) - "fair comment, you are totally correct, and if I truly believed the audio tour was great, I'd pay for it myself. But because I am the agent, I am actually going to do (and spend) fuck all on you, and wait to see if any cunt shows interest at the lower house price you've just confirmed; I am buggered if there'll be any speculation to accumulate at this end! I then got an acknowledgement, when I pressed on with a query as to whether in the circumstances I could be blamed for saying anything else, that I had in effect called the bluff suitably well, and I knew she'd be moving on to other people, to tout the "service" and the amazing offer that was once £395 but is now such a paltry sum (£85) - it's low enough for sellers to pay, but still far, far too much for the agent to pay, despite the thousands to be earned in fees.
Illogical, but sadly all true and a display of the mercenary nature of the estate agency business.
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