Frankie
What a week. What a pillock. Who? Frankie, of course. Today's Sun has a front page devoted to his alleged request for a threesome, and a photo of the two females who were the subject of his attentions - Becca and Katherine. What a pair of pointless individuals, selling their story of one night with Cocozza.
The most amazing comment from any of the three tarts (I include Frankie) was from Becca. She and Frankie were bonking in a small bedroom, and were being constantly interrupted by his mates. Her story included the following:
"At one point his mate came in and gave him a condom. I was impressed he used condoms. I thought I'd have to tell him to."
What a fucking useless twat she is! Being impressed by the fact that he uses condoms! He fucks anything that's got an opening, dearie, so lucky for you that he does. They deserve each other.
The other notable comment this week was by Frankie himself, who has snorted enough coke to make him lose the plot completely. Frankie outlined two ambitions he hoped he could realise after his spell on X-Factor. He wants to go on Celebrity Big Brother - and have sex in the House; and he fancies himself as a TV presenter.
"I'd like to be like George Lamb - he's cool. I don't know I'd get very far in music. I know I'm not a great singer. There are loads of genuine rock stars and I'm not one of them. Yeah, I ruined my chances on X-Factor. But I hope I'll get a career out of it somehow. I don't want to be back on the dole."
First, I should be saying "Wake up, you can't be on Celebrity Big Brother because you are NOT a celebrity. However, I need to be careful, because he is probably countable as a celebrity in the eyes of the youth of today; sad, sad, sad. As for the ambition of having sex in the house, talk about setting yourself a pointless, low level, idiotic target like that! Finally, after admitting he's a shit singer, he says he hopes to get a career out of all this, somehow. Fucking marvellous. Be a cunt, have no talent, drink, take drugs, shag anything that's not dead, screw up big time and demonstrate complete uselessness - and then want a career as a TV presenter. That just proves what a low-level job TV presenting is perceived to be (and is so, in many cases, judging by the idiots that creep on to the box with annoying regularity - especially those who are illiterate/thick).
Kitty
Vocals were dodgy, I'm afraid. Sorry, but I reckon that was her weakest performance.
Craig
Excellent performance. Haircut's awful, and so's the jacket, but being able to sing trumps those faux pas.
Little Mix
There were some dodgy vocals, especially at the beginning. Still, I like them, so judges, stop bickering. KR, get back on your horse and practise your dressage routine; TTT, you're the twat who picked Frankie, so you have no right to criticise!!!
John Lewis Advert
Excellent; yet another classic (even though nothing can match the one set to Billy Joel's "She's More Than a Woman To Me").
Janet
Sorry love, but it's hard work slowing down my whole life to try and keep in time with your singing. Much too slow, and a bit boring. Calm down Elf. Actually, if I want to hear an Irish lilt, I'll put on The Cranberries. TTT has also mentioned 'boring', quite rightly. KR - Janet may well have worked hard this week - the competition is not about working hard though!
Marcus
He knows what he's doing and can sing / perform. No doubt about his ability. However, TC was correct, because it was a bit like picking up where last week ended.
Misha
Manchester is behind her, apparently. I thought it was a singing competition rather than a tribal one, based on the support of people from the town where you live. As for the singing, then, I found her voice grating and had to turn the volume down; I thought it was poor, actually. Elf, why should people in Manchester 'lift the phone'. TC, stop the fucking "stripped back" cliche. KR, fuck off with the Manchester shit, will you! (and stop that awful emphasised drawl). Does Janet automatically get the Irish vote? Does Craig get the gay vote? Does Kitty get the tranny vote? Misha, TTT thinks your dedicated because you are always looking at YouTube or listening to music - to me that seems applicable to half the 12-to-25-year-olds in the country!
Amelia Lily
Her arrival on stage was greeted like a second coming! She was always going to win the four-way battle for another go, and 48% of the votes went to her. Basically, she's avoided four weeks of work, and can join in now with a reasonable level of support. I can't say I liked the song or even her noisy rendition of it. Still, I reckon that after so much voting for her in the last 48hrs by people who can be bothered about such things, she will get votes from those same people. KR - 'Welcome freakin back?' Stupid Twat! Get back on your horse, I've told you once already.
Summary: Kitty in danger, I think, plus Janet?. Misha will be saved by Mancunians, no doubt.
TTT = Thomas the Tank / Gary
TC = Top Cat / Tulisa Contostavlos
Elf = Louis Walsh
KR = Kelly Rowland
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