7.11.10 Boyes

While shopping last week, I was about to enter a 'Boyes' store when I stopped, caught in a dilemma.  I had to consider carefully whether to break the rule, as outlined on a sign on the glass door, and enter despite not qualifying to do so.  The print was clear:

GUIDE DOGS ONLY

Now, not being a guide dog, I should not have entered.  After a few seconds, I decided that the shop owners had most likely fucked up, and did in fact want paying customers (humans) to enter, browse and buy.  I also considered that expecting dogs to read the sign and identify themselves as either a 'guide' or 'non-guide' variety was expecting a bit too much.  In any event, I've never met a guide dog that carries cash or a credit card, so commercially it would be suicide for Boyes to restrict access so severely.

After entering, browsing and not buying, I left the establishment via a different glass door, located the other side of the tills, and walked out to the high street.  For some strange reason, I looked over my shoulder, and discovered some more signs. 

CCTV is in operation on these premises

I felt slightly cheated that I'd not known about this during my browsing, after entry through the other door.  As I'd not been on a mission to steal anything, I decided my human rights had not been unduly compromised, and let the matter pass.  Next to this sign was a further announcement:

No Food or Drink to be consumed on these premises

I quickly recapped and realised I'd not consumed anything, mainly because I'd normally go to a cafe or fast food place for food, rather than a cuntin' general hardwear/household goods/clothing store.  Lucky for me I'm so fuckin' sensible, or I'd have unknowingly scoffed my way around the shop.

Perhaps, though, the most interesting sign was this one, which confused the fuck out of me - and as with all the signs, it was a proper printed one rather than a 'home made' effort:

All perfumes are locked away securely every night

Now, it was news to me that the local currency amongst people-up-to-no-good is now perfume!  Do thieves (who are often known to operate in specific areas, as per further signs) complete dodgy transactions, and pay with 100ml of Denim, or Paco Cuntin' Rabanne?  I've never found that a bottle of Jazz is accepted in a Post Office for stamps, or Rive Gauche satisfies the fuckin' butcher.  So I find it hard to believe it's necessary for Boyes staff to lock away securely a few bottles/containers of smelly liquid each night, fearing that the local crime syndicates are likely to mount a raid on a small high street shop, in an area that's covered by CCTV (NB: not just in the street but in the shop as well, as per the sign!) and where parking requires a blue disc!  So, on balance, I think that this is a good example of a Pointless Sign.