10.11.10 The Art of Queuing

I am not good at queuing!  Some people seem to be unbothered by waiting ages in line, and have developed a resilience that I cannot fathom.  Where they may be 'black belts', I haven't even managed to buy a fuckin' Karategi.

The main problem in my nearest shop is the range of services available at the till, and I always seem to shop just behind some cunt with an agenda.  On a recent visit, I stood waiting and watched a running order that was quite simply preposterous!

• A small basket of items, each of which had to be scanned of course.
• A delay because the discounted bread had a bar-code that would not scan, so the till operator (the one with glasses who had to peer at the small numbers) fucked about, making multiple attempts at manually entering the correct number.
• A request for cigarettes; the till operator swivelled 180 degrees and played "mini cuntin' battleships", trying to locate the correct packet on the various rows & columns.
• Then it was necessary to pause, while the shopper searched for his loyalty card; I sensed the transaction might be concluding any second, but I was wrong.
• A mobile top-up for £20 was the next 'procedure'.
• Then, fuckin' two lucky dips on the lottery, and a 'number 4 scratchcard', whatever the fuck that might be.  Dumbfounded, I seethed as Mildred (or whatever the till operator's name was) pissed about unlocking a plastic box containing a roll of cards, after entering details to get the Lotto ticket.
• Am I making this up? - NO!  Next, a plastic cuntin' key that is used for the electric.  I'm not sure how all that works, but I do know that Mildred had to stick the key in the yellow terminal and press buttons.
• FINALLY, time to settle up and fuck off; but not before lingering to stick a card in the machine and enter a PIN.  "Cashback?" said Mildred.  "I want 8 minutes of my fuckin' life back", I thought.

I suppose it could have been worse - he could have asked for an alcoholic drink, and then searched for ID.  When I next go to the Post Office, and the person in front simply wants to sort out a Tax Disc for a car, I will most definitely consider myself fortunate.  Even at the Post Office, that takes the counter staff only 3-4 minutes.