The CCTV Fernandez Rap
I'm ready to sing it
I'll smash it, I'll bring it
I'm going to give it my all
I'm having such fun and
Don't want to go home
So vote for me, please make the call.
That's right up my street and
A right proper treat and
Your nanna is so proud tonight
You killed it completely
You sang it so sweetly
I'm so good at uttering shite.
A E I O A E, pet
A E I O you
A A E and don't forget
Y I is Geordie too.
You brought it and smashed it
You killed it and mashed it
You knocked it right out of the park
You made it your own and
You took it to church
You nailed it and so made your mark.
I really enjoyed it,
You killed it, destroyed it
You smashed it with such a nice tone
You're my little poppet
And no one can top it
That's how to make something your own.
I really don't doubt you
There's something about you
The girls will all love you to death
Your hips are bionic
For me, that's a tonic
I'm flustered and all out of breath.
Your vocal was magic
The song choice was tragic
Your mentor needs shootin' for that
You've really worked hardon . . .
Oh, is that for me?
I need to be rubbin' me twat.
A E I O A E, yes
A E I O, ooo
A E E beneath me dress
Eee what's a girl to do?
If you're havin' fun
Then we're havin' fun
Your energy levels are high
You really don't know
Just how good you are
I like you a lot and here's why . . .
You brought it and smashed it
You killed it and mashed it
You knocked it right out of the park
You made it your own and
You took it to church
You nailed it and so made your mark.
The standard this year is
So high that my fear is
You might not stand out like you should
Beware of a crowd
When I left Girls Aloud
I found I was no fucking good.
You need to be tougher
Or else you could suffer
Stand up and be counted like me
So grasp independence
Or toilet attendants
Strike out with a fist and a knee.
A E I O A E, yes
A E I O, ooo
A E E, I've made a mess
Eee Eee, right on cue.
Fernandez Versini
While drunk on Lambrini
Forgot to forget she was Cole
Admitting when needy
Dispensing with Tweedy
'Twas Ashley whose name that she stole.
I'm Cheryl Fernando
Vagina Commando
My arse smells of roses in bloom
Contented, why aye, man
I sit next to Simon
Whose baby is tucked in me womb.*
You brought it and smashed it
You killed it and mashed it
You knocked it right out of the park
You made it your own and
You took it to church
You nailed it and so made your mark.
The Cheryl Cole Tweedy Versini Fernandez Rap
©TMWSC
* This is pure speculation
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