A recent weekend trip involved some motorway driving in Scotland, and I was exposed to some advice by way of messages on overhead gantries. These displays are supposed to allow drivers to gain relevant information, but are now used to convey general shit rather than specific details about the road ahead, or local hazards. The result is that drivers get input that is worth fuck all. Here are the messages that have been beamed my way in the last few days:
Don't Drink and Drive
Please Use Seat Belts
Check Tyre Pressure
Keep Your Windscreen Clear
Please Drive Safely
Check Your Fuel Level
Please Drive Carefully
Respect Other Road Users
Observe Speed Limit
and my favourite . . . .
Belt Up in the Rear
I did see one in Yorkshire a couple of weeks ago that said:
Strong Winds Slow Down
"Do they, indeed?" I thought to myself.
This incessant interference is a joke. Are drivers really in need of advice, telling them not to drive like idiots, cunts or while blotto? As far as I am concerned, these are distractions that do nothing to help drivers concentrate on relevant aspects of travelling. What next?
How about:
Keep Within Dotted White Lines
Please Don't Crash
Don't Drive Like a Cunt
Don't Drive and Pick Your Nose
Don't Forget To Do Your Lotto Numbers
Don't Sleep While Driving
...
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