Santander
The pointless use of celebrities has never been so well highlighted as with the awful fucking Santander adverts, which do absolutely nothing to encourage or convince me to have anything to do with Santander. In fact, the company's choice of ad campaign and celebrity input is enough to do the complete opposite. Sorry, Jenson, but can you please 'button' it, with your wooden 'acting'. As for Jessica Ennis, dire, dire, dire. Thank god I've not seen Rory McIlroy for a while!
McDonald's
"Take a trip to Spain" is the theme of the recent adverts, and we learn about what we can expect by way of ingredients, including 'Chorizo' which the voice-over bloke cannot even fucking pronounce properly. Chorizo is of course Spanish, and the letter 'z' is pronounced as 'th', and not 'ts'. I am not "lovin' it".
Muller Light
Yet another fucking reference to "award winning" which is the most overused and irrelevant phrase of the twenty-first century. "Product of the year in the healthy yoghurt category is Muller Light" is the limp blurb delivered by Dermot O'Dreary, who surely cannot need the money. This so-called "award" proves completely that "award winning" is the most devalued term around.
Specsavers
Talking of awards, I cannot believe that there's such a thing as "Spectacle Wearer of the Year". The "event" is hosted by none other than Gok Wan. I suppose there's slightly more relevance to (though of course NO more interest in) such an endorsement than the pointless association he has with Activia, and the bifidus bollockus irregularis shite.
Iams
This brand was until very recently pronounced with the 'a', actually as a plural of "I am". Now, all of a sudden, some bright cunt in marketing decides that the 'a' is dispensable, and irrelevant. Thus, the pronunciation is like a plural of "I'm". I'm not impressed. Was Yul Brynner the King of Siam, or the King of Sime?
Aquafresh
Once upon a time it was the case that toothpaste was a rather simple commodity, and required no more than a word to distinguish one type of paste from another. 'Colgate' was enough to tell us it was not 'SR' or 'Ultrabrite', and that 'Macleans' was not 'Aquafresh'. Now, though, it's essential that we get much more in the way of a description, as demonstrated by the latest ads for Aquafresh - sorry, "Aquafresh High Definition (Tingling Mint) White". It's not a fucking television! I think we get the message that it's going to try and help teeth look white (as opposed to cunting purple, for Christ's sake?).
Vodaphone
The latest (and so annoying) adverts featuring Yoda are arguably the worst for encouraging completely irresponsible behaviour. The punchline/strap-line is: "Be lost in your favourite stuff on the go", and we are shown a twat wearing earphones who is inches from injury because he's not got a fucking clue what's going on around him! How daft is Vodaphone? Very! Suggesting to anyone that ignorance is bliss and that moving around with no care about anything but the stuff entering ears via headphones is madness. It won't be long before some idiot it hit by a car and sues Vodaphone because Yoda wasn't there to save him.
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