Despite there being a shortage of choice in many areas, I found this evening that I was still able to consider (and reject) the option of buying a leg of lamb for £17. However, there were no shoulder steaks on sale. Kids anoraks took up space, but there were no Beef Hula Hoops. I was free, though, to purchase some cunting paint! Offers littered the freezer cabinets, to coincide with empty shelves. Oriental dresses at the entrance for £10 were the least urgent of my intended purchases.
Aero yoghurts that were 50p last week are now £1.38 (two for £2) and the crisps deal was confusing. £2.50 per packet or two for £5 - representing an excellent deal, don't you think? Sadly the 'classic' multi-pack was infected with Worcester Sauce and Prawn Cocktail, bundled with the three standard flavours, so I moved on.
I was able to buy some Ginger Cream biscuits in the internationally accepted portion size of 168g. I am of course being sarcastic. There is no logic within the world of supermarkets other than an underlying intention to rip off consumers, hoodwink the thick (giving Asda an advantage!) and claim to be the people's champion. The DVD selection was shittier than a cow pat and nothing was under £7.
The £5 tins (well, plastic tubs these days) of chocolates were on the end of the aisle, and I checked the weights. These are the ones that historically were 1kg tins, but which have over recent years shrunk at the same rate as the integrity of both the supermarkets and the manufacturers.
Quality Street 820g (795g without counting the wrappers)
Roses 850g (826g without the wrappers)
Celebrations 766g (750g without the wrappers)
Heroes 780g (760g without the wrappers)
I have no idea why wrappers are ever counted because I've never met anyone who eats them. I have no idea why Quality Street and Roses weights drop by 25g/24g yet Celebrations uses just 16g of stuff, while Heroes is in the middle. Above these offerings were 650g tins of Foxes biscuits, allegedly reduced from £12 to £5. What a fucking joke/lie/con.
I looked at the Ryvita, and saw that 200g packets of "With A Hint of Chilli" were on sale at £1.59. I opted for the 250g Dark Rye version, and spent 50p on a packet of chillis, getting 25% more, and a fuck more chilli than just a hint!
I resisted the urge to buy awful black socks that were strategically positioned in front of the beer and lager. No doubt some cunt in marketing thinks that men buy beer and might be tempted to spontaneously buy socks if plonked in their way. I wished the marketing bods would spontaneously combust, and moved the stupid round 'basket' that held the socks, to get to the Carlsberg. I was fortunately able to buy some beer at only £1 more than the price in Tesco.
The shop was relatively busy, but only three cuntin' checkouts were working, and there was no twat with a stick pointing out 'Space Here'.
Am I bitter? Yes - because before the store opened in June, there was a lovely green field. Now it's been replaced with another green that's fucking useless, and it will no doubt pave the way for further businesses to rip up the countryside and expand the tarmac. This 'pretend' supermarket is fucking useless, and denies shoppers the ability to complete any more than 60% of their shopping through limited choice or shelves being empty. At least the checkout operator didn't ask me: "Did you find everything you were looking for?" If she'd dared, I would have had to divulge my views. She did ask me after receiving payment if I'd like to give my postcode to help with a survey and I of course declined. I left wondering why the fuck Fairy Liquid was being sold in bottles of 1050ml, and why I hadn't gone to Morrisons.
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