I believe there needs to be a rethink in the world of tennis regarding the rules, and possible penalty points for transgressions. Enjoyment for spectators is now hampered by numerous factors, most particularly relating to time wasting, and the various mannerisms/rituals adopted by players. My suggestions are as follows.
Ball Bouncing
There should be a maximum number of ball bounces that a server can have before getting on and hitting the fucking thing! Four would seem to me more than adequate to satisfy the server's need to gain a steadying effect before launching into a serve. Any more than four is gratuitous time wasting and complete OCD. If a player exceeds the four bounces, the umpire should declare a 'fault'.
Use of the Towel
After every couple of games, players get a chance to have a little rest, have a drink, eat a banana, and in some cases, put on a new T-shirt. They can of course just sit and meditate, or get a ball boy to run around getting water or juice. Whatever any player's preference, there is ample time for use of a towel to remove sweat. It is therefore most frustrating to watch players wave at a ball boy after almost every single point, asking for a towel (which has been transported from the seating area to the back of the court). Nadal is one of the worst offenders I've ever seen. The 'OCD' has now stretched to his insistence that a towel is produced so that he can dab at his biceps, as well as give a cursory wipe of the face. He is then apparently refreshed, and ready to hits the soles of his trainers with his racquet. Seeing as there's no limit on the number of fresh/dry shirts a player can use, that headbands are available, and that wristbands can be worn on both wrists to help with stemming the rivers of sweat created by a bit of exertion, there's absolutely no need for continual 'drying' in between changeovers. Umpires should insist that players' towels remain by their seats for use only in each break at the changeover of ends.
Arse Picking
Umpires should censor any player whose OCD extends to picking underwear from the crack of an arse. It does not make for good viewing, and it suggests that the player's choice of attire is completely flawed. Nadal is again a serial offender; get it sorted, Rafa - choose a different design.
Ball Boy Abuse
Abuse of ball boys (and girls) is habitual my many players. They seem to think it is acceptable to demand three balls be provided for serving, rather than two. Players then seem to mull over which two of the three are acceptable before rejecting the weakest candidate. They do this by dropping the surplus ball and tapping it behind them. The ball boy then has to run and pick it up, and then return to the corner. There are six balls in play, and they are all the same age. It's not as if there's any need to avoid the one that doesn't bounce, or steer clear of the one with bird shit on it! Ball boys should be allowed to provide two balls to any server, and decline if asked for a third.
Women's Tennis
Women should look like women. [If not, they should be playing 'best of 5' with the men]
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