It's official - the UK's national sport is . . . . . Sofa Buying. You watched the Olympics in 2008, and you've possibly just watched the odd effort from the Commonwealth Games coverage, so you may have been disappointed not to see what the people of the UK do best - buy sofas. If it were a recognised sport/game/pastime, then there's absolutely no doubt that some cunt in the UK would have won a gold medal! Along with some other dubious enterprises (like nut-tightening with a spanner, lard-smearing on a cross-channel swimmer, and riding a fuckin' bike) Sofa Buying would give us an advantage. What with the national obsession with no interest and four years to pay, it ties in quite nicely; no fuckin' interest in the Games, and four years between events. DFS / SCS / CSL are all recognised sponsors of the sport, pouring millions into the pointless and repeated efforts of the population.
We're now in the 'Winter Season', where we are all guaranteed a pre-Christmas delivery of complete nausea at having to endure shit adverts from cunts who want to shift shit so we can watch Wizard of Cuntin' Oz in comfort!
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