26.4.11 Vegetation Management

I hadn't, until today, ever considered let alone used the term 'vegetation management'.  Looking out of my kitchen window early afternoon, I saw a silver Landrover, marked with yellow and red stripes.  People who drive vehicles that are adorned in stripes are on a weird power trip, even if they don't admit it.  I am quite sure they like the feeling that they are drawing attention to themselves, poncing about in hi-viz cars.  Anyway, this particular vehicle had the word "Enterprise" on the back panel, and below this was a strapline/mission statement.  As we all know (and as mentioned previously by me on postings) it's not enough for any company or organisation to state its name - no, it's now obligatory to have some stupid fucking sentence or phrase that explains what the company does.  So, West Midlands Police - Serving the Community, would be an example of this format; my own choice [should I ever make it to Chief Constable] would be Police - Catching Fucking Criminals.  Still, I think you get the point.

Back to the story; the Landrover had, below "Enterprise", the supplementary information - "Maintaining the Infrastructure of the UK".  What the cuntin' hell does that mean??  Exactly!  Fuck all!  So, to help the casual observer, there was a third tier of information, keeping the signwriter in work.  In brackets below the useless shit about infrastructure was the term 'Vegetation Management'.

So, here we have an expensive vehicle, adorned in red and yellow stripes, announcing to the world that it belonged to a company or organisation called "Enterprise" which was gainfully engaged, maintaining the UK's infrastructure, with particular emphasis on 'Vegetation Management'.  If any cunt can tell me what all that's about, and why the twat driving had to turn into my road twice, turn around and disappear, then I'll give him/her a cream bun.

I rather suspect that the driver was happy to while away some hours doing sweet FA.  I am not sure how I would begin to describe the "Infrastructure of the UK" to include a vegetation angle.  Perhaps the fucker was looking for a tree-lined boulevard, so he could slap a preservation order on it??

Are cows, horses, goats and sheep any less qualified to carry out vegetation management?  I think not.  This is quite clearly an excuse for a job; quangos exist to carry out such jobs, without any request by the public to do so, and at great expense to us all through governmental financial support.

This country is bonkers.

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