Wally Murs and Flack took to the stage to tell us "we are live" and I was in need of (and glad of) the clarification, because neither seemed capable of much.
The judges trotted on like the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, to the usual background noise (not Mason, though - haha).
The reminder of the six performances from last night proved that the efforts over on BBC1 of Anastacia and Take That in Strictly Come Dancing were abysmal, and so much fucking worse! Still, all six being better than Take (Some of) That and the dire Anastacia does not really mean they are any good, though.
We Found Love In A Hopeless Place was the communal song from the six remaining acts, and they managed to combine badly. I struggled to decide which of them was the worst - it was all rather desperate . . . as desperate as the song itself. They are all better off avoiding any collaboration whatsoever.
Nathan Sykes
Who? I asked myself, before the voice-over man told me he was in The Wanted. I never wanted him in the first place, and I was even less needy tonight. He mumbled his way through some bollocks or other, saying nothing of any consequence at all. I endured it, waiting for the standing ovation from the four judges. If they had any integrity, they would stay sitting down and confirm that had NS been a contestant, it would have been panned.
Yes, the Four Horsemen stood on cue, before Flack asked him something before his departure.
"It's incredibly tense, and one of the acts is going to be the winner of X-Facta two faarsand," said Wally.
After the break, it was time to hear from him again, when he took to the stage. He was accompanied by 20 dancers, who did manage to provide a small dose of entertainment. The plastic song and plastic performance from Polymers (get it?) was forgettable.
I wondered during the break whether to participate in the competition, and despite voice-over man's tempting offer and confirmation that the Mini Cooper has a "sports leather steering wheel," I decided against wasting any money, time or brain power. Instead, I gave further thought to trying to understand what Tweedy-Cole was on about, with her comment that the competition is "open ended". She meant that the result was hard to predict. Hell, if it was 'open ended' then we'd not be shot of X-Factor in time for Christmas!
Flack confirmed that 3 million votes had been cast. Well, considering five are free on the app, and many (gullible) people place multiple votes by phone and text, then I can guess that there are about half a million people who give a fuck.
Safe = Lauren Murray, Four Thimpact, Louisa Johnson and then Veggie 'N' Bollox.
That left Anton to sing against Che. Talk about a non-contest. Che bored me with his warbling output. Clearly he has a talent, but that does not in fact translate always into being entertaining. Anton arrived and sang very well, although I was tired of his twanging whine, so expected him to be going.
Rita talked about evolving, coming out, and kept Che, after the two had got a vote a piece. That left CCTV to make her comment, and Che was duly saved.
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