Sunday, 19 February 2017

19.2.17 Diabolical English





The rogue donor advertises what he calls his 'magic potion', and there are no shortage of takers. [Anon]

The crowd was on their feet.  [Amanda Holden]

There was so much complaints.  [Ken Doherty, commentating on the snooker]

That player hasn't often showed up.  [Peter Ebden, commentating on the snooker, meaning 'shown']

The paper say it didn't run the story because . . .  [Reported on Radio 4]

It has weaved its way around the country.  [Ore Oduba on BBC2, avoiding 'woven']

Our biggest range of new cars ever are available . . . [Bristol Street Motors advert]

It's every man for himselves.  [Idiot on ITV trailer for the Tour de Yorkshire]

A series of major reforms are being considered by the government.  [Daily Mail]

It finds its way into all sorts of arena.  [Arsehole deciding that 'arena' is plural]

To go through these sequence of questions.  [Sarah Montague talking gibberish]

The gulf between he and the two others.  [Golf commentator]

I think Vardy should have been given a reprieval.  [Kevin Kilbane, inventing a word]

Two brace of serve.  [Tennis commentator - absolute wanker]

It was a scorcher, as he thread the needle, and put the lid on it.  [Tennis commentator]

Lidl have got two succulent cod fillet for £1.99.  [Fillet is not fucking plural!]

It's only in the last few years that erosion of the sea have worn them away.  [Julia Bradbury]

The IRA are . . .  [R4]

The team are about ready to . . . . [TV advert]

It is not a common phenomena.  [Twat on Radio 4]

Recent market turbulence have caused . . .  [Radio 4]

We've got both set of parents.  [Shane Richie]

He's had very little touches so far  [Rugby commentator, meaning 'very few']

A gang of four men were responsible  [Radio 4 news]

The paper say . .  [Nick Robinson]

The government themselves have . . . [Radio 4 News]

She must of practiced for hours.  [Facebook comment, illiterately]

Our biggest choice of used cars are now available.  [Bristol Street Motors advert]

You can see that writ large.  [Rugby presenter]

Don't judge a book by it's cover.  [Awful screen spelling on Catchphrase]

If charity want to do this type of work.  [BBC News]

You was here last year.  [Olly Murs]

The number of passes are taken into account.  [John Humphrys on Mastermind]

Scrutinistic  [Paloma Faith]

Disablised  [Radio 4]

Social Media is . . .  [Radio 4]

This is when the battle for the nominations get real.  [Radio 4]

The bacteria has already caused damage.  [Radio 4]

I don't know how you extrapolate the numbers down.  [Radio 4 - wtf?]

Great Britain have won two golds.  [Radio 4 sports reporter]

The UK government can argue amongst itself.  [Radio 4 gibberish]

A naked photo of her.  [Radio 4 newscaster, who meant "A photo of her naked"]

Discriminacies.  [Radio for guest talking shit, and inventing a word for instances of discrimination]

Australia are our best option for a quick trade deal.  [Radio 4 twaddle]

....

No comments:

Post a Comment