26.4.15 Trial By Ordeal - The ASDA Way

It comes as no surprise to me (repeatedly) that ASDA's ability to charge customers the correct amounts for their shopping is fucked beyond belief. What is more frustrating than the cunt-ups that they create are the lengths one has to go to, to get satisfaction, usually by way of reimbursement.  Let's take Friday's events as an example.

I decided to buy some Kleenex toilet rolls, on offer in a multi-pack of 16.  I thought nothing of  putting the large white cube into my trolley, after lifting it from the pallet at the store entrance.  I shopped for half an hour or so, and went to the checkouts as normal.  So far, all was well.

I endured the "Are you okay with your packing?" enquiry from the checkout woman, and suffered the 'small talk' that she for some reason felt obliged to engage in.  The £117 bill was paid by credit card, and I wheeled away the trolley laden with stuff.

I had almost reached my car when I decided to peruse the receipt, and was as frustrated as a cunt in a chastity belt to find that I'd been charged twice for the toilet roll; there were two entries of £4.98 on my receipt.  I did a 180 degree turn and re-entered the store, veering left towards 'Customer Service', expecting to find none of it.  I was correct.

There was one long line of shoppers, some with baskets and some without, which fed two tills, each being operated by a diminutive person in ASDA uniform.  To the left, the Customer Service desk was as vacant as an ASDA employee's common sense shelf.  I queued, and watched the hide-and-seek ritual being played out as customers tried to order cigarettes despite having zero visibility of brands or prices.  I finally got to to the till and explained the double charge.  I was directed to "the other till" and the two assistants did a weird swap manoeuvre.  I was then required to use my credit card to gain the refund, though why the fuck I had to sign a receipt was beyond me.

The whole fiasco took ages.  As I left the store for the second time, I noticed that the enormous red and yellow sign above the toilet rolls declared £4,87, a penny less than what was charged at the checkouts.  These pennies all no doubt add up, and nationally, ASDA must make a fortune through misdeclarations - and a fucking fortune from double billing, and the numerous scanning/pricing errors.

Perhaps next time, when asked "Are you okay with your packing?" by a till operator, I ought to reply:

"Perfectly, thank you.  More importantly, are you happy with your scanning?"

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