Thursday, 13 August 2020

13.8.20 How Not To Buy A Cunting Oven

The simple comment/answer to this is.............. try to buy from Currys PC World.


One might be forgiven for thinking this large company can get its act together sufficiently well to see a fucking oven.  Alas, I could not succeed in this task, and I was forced to abandon the purchase of a fan-assisted oven.  I 'fannied about' for a while on laptop and phone, trying to gain some input that might be mildly useful.

My existing inbuilt oven has ceased working, and as I bought it from CPCW I thought I'd get the same one.  Pleasantly surprised to find it available, in stock and at the same price, I was all for clicking and paying and collecting tomorrow - as presented to me as the option (delivery not available).  My roast pork dinner tomorrow was assured.

Well, my roast dinner is definitely assured, thanks to Argos/Sainsbury's, and no thanks to CPCW. The heading for this post might equally be written as "How To Not Buy An Oven" as long as you can tolerate a split infinitive; I believe it is justified insofar as "Not Buy" is acting as the verb.  Both interpretations/statements lead to the same thing - no cuntin oven.

I thought I would call the store, but the main number given was not for the store, but a generic message service.  A second number yielded the same fucking thing.  I tried to buy over the phone, pressing option fuck-knows-what-number, and it directed me back to the website.

At my laptop, I thought I'd try Webchat.  This served to rile me further, with a 'Virtual' assistant and this was not virtually anything but useless.  It could not cope with a question at all.  A generic picture of an operator with CUNT tattooed on his/her forehead would have been apt.  Whoever programmed this facility must have had an IQ of about fifty.

Back to the website, and a search for any fucking availability of the oven.


I put in a postcode and store, and the message appeared about nothing available in the nine nearest stores.  I clicked for a further afield search, and after 18, 27 and then 36 stores, fuck all.  So it is cunting out of stock then!  I know this because I entered Birmingham and other locations, and established no availability.  The brand of the intended purchase was Logik.  There was no logic to this fucking online system for buying anything.

Sort yourselves out, you people in charge of CPCW!

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