13.1.18 Britain's Brightest Family - Not

Horror Show

There can be no doubt that one of the most dire quizes ever aired on British television hit our screens last week.  The offending programme was Britain's Brightest Family, hosted by Anne Hegerty.  Sadly someone advised her that she could be 'funny', and as a result, her input in this half-hour horror show was more misplaced than a hippo in the Arctic.

I challenge you to watch this week's offering, scheduled for Wednesday at 8.00pm on ITV.  You will I am sure find it hilarious because it is so bad, it's funny.

The concept of 'family' was itself a cause for concern in my own mind.  Teams comprised just three members on each team.  One family was mum, son and brother.  The other was a precocious girl, her dad and her uncle.  So both has a school-aged member, and two adults.  I was then treated to a run-down of their various 'qualifications' which included degrees, plus memberships and certificates.  In the hope of being impressed and entertained, I awaited the contributions of these bright sparks.

What a cunting farce.  Anne laboured through the script like a broken down snow plough dealing with an avalanche.  I was dumbfounded, and found myself incredulous at the six seated contestants and their collective lack of knowledge.  Here's an example.

Shakespeare Play

This teaser managed to stump all of them, and The Tempest was not volunteered.  Such was their uselessness and/or lack of speed in answering questions that in no way could count as challenging enough to help us all determine a 'bright family' let alone Britain's brightest fucking one.

The points 'system,' was itself laughable, because each correct answer was worth ten points - for no good reason at all.  There was no variation in the standard ten points, so the flexibility that might have been afforded by this 10-point approach was not needed.  The last five questions were scored at 20 each, just to undermine anyone who had done well but might then struggle with the last few - obviously when you get the questions wrong is a vital part of the system for judging, eh?  The final score was 160 - 120.   Sadly, the animated girl was on the winning team, so her little fist pumps and 'yes' utterances that so annoyed were not killed off in this round.

To close, Anne treated us to a teaspoon full of humour at least, by advising us viewers that the winners were through to the 'quarter finals'.  What the fuck?  These numpties were through to what?  I challenge ITV to explain how the fuck the entrants were decided upon.  I resent massively that there is an absolute certainty in play here - that the winners of Britain's Brightest Family will ABSOLUTELY NOT be Britain's Brightest Family.  I suggest that this is a real flaw and significant enough to undermine the whole cunting thing.

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