Britain's Got Talent has quite typically ensured that singers dominate the line up. Still, there are a few finalists who don't warble. Sadly someone thought it appropriate to invite Katherine Jenkins to warble like a twat during the start of the programme, to introduce the judges. A fucking horrendous racket was served up by her, oh so cunting needlessly!
The public's 'wildcard' act was rather predictably a fucking dog. The ballet dancers were put through by the judges.
Balance Unity 1 / 5
His semi-final performance did not warrant qualification for the final, so I was not holding out any hope of a decent final performance. He fidgeted and wobbled along with various theme tunes and music snippets, while pulling faces. I was bored before the first minute was up. Overall, fucking lame. "What a way to start the show," was of course leaving the lips of the comperes before Walliams even got a chance to speak - and then say the say fucking this, as always. Yawn.
Time for the first "quick break," as announced by Ant. The first advert up was for the Suzuki Vitara, featuring Ant and Cuntin Dec!
Richard Jones 4.2 / 5
Something non-singing and non-dancing; well what a turn up! What an original and well-pitched performance and story. Very interesting and fitting, and a brave type of performance.
Time for "a break." and as it was not announced as a "quick" one, I decided I could served myself seconds of the roast chicken dinner. the stupid competition meant I had even longer to load my plate.
100 Voices of Gospel - 0.0025 / 5
The screaming shite that was served to us in the auditions was outrageously awarded the golden buzzer. And so it came to pass that tonight we were served another helping of shite. The lead singer was/is/always will be a verbal bully, and a shouting fucker. How can anyone be so unlikable? Then she made it worse by singing/shouting/wailing about Jesus! FUCKING CUNTING HORRENDOUS! "I don't know where to start," said Alesha. I fuckin' do! "That was what we call perfection," said Simon, and I lost any smattering of respect that still remained for him.
Alex Magala 4 / 5
This chap has shown us he is dedicated as hell. His approach to entertaining us is severely radical. I resisted the urge to try anything like this at home, and Mrs MWSC was able to breathe easy (and not get the Flash ready to mop up blood). Amazing input from a chap who pushes boundaries.
Mel & Jamie 2 / 5
Without a break, we were into our third act in a row! The first time these two were on stage, it was good, and the mother stood back. In the semi-final, she dominated, and I was surprised they got through. Tonight I was unsure what the plan would be. As it turned out, it was a rather boring dirge, and I was bored as hell. The shit song was a cliche and a half, and so the best from these two came from that first audition. Simon commented in line with this until his comment on tonight, saying it was as good as the audition . . . well, it wasn't!
"Time for a another quick break," said Dec - well it was overdue, wasn't it!
Shannon & Peter 2.2 / 5
This performance was pretty much what I expected. I did not agree with Simon, though, as this time it was not any improvement on the last effort. Still, they will have enjoyed getting to the final.
Jasmine Elcock 5 / 5
Superb! A truly lovely performance and person.
"Time for a quick break," said Dec.
Trip Hazard 1.5 / 5
I thought we'd got rid of the dog, but I'd not reckoned on the cuntin public vote reintroducing the mutt. I was bored to death.
"We'll take a short break now," said Ant.
Beau Dermott 3.8 / 5
Sadly she's not especially likable, and whilst she is an accomplished singer, the stuff she sings is hardly of much interest.
Craig Ball 3 / 5
This seemed like a bit of a challenge for him, and it started to show as he lost his bearings. There was nothing new here.
Boogie Storm 0.5 / 5
Never has an act been so unworthy of being in a final. Utter SHITE.
"Time for a break now," said Ant.
Wayne Woodward 4.5 / 5
Solid as ever; he's a natural at this. What a personality.
Who knows how the public will vote in the 16 minutes allocated for the task.
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