I have just seen what can only be properly described as "an apology of a cunting programme" called Celebrity Mastermind. The awful mess was presided over by the equally pompous, sanctimonious and rather twattish John Humphrys, who is a negative factor in ANY attempt to provide entertainment of any kind.
Bore
On to the programme's content - or complete cunting lack of it! Once upon a time, there was thought to be some kudos in appearing on the show, whether as a real competitor (with a brain) or as an entrant on the occasional celebrity version. However, these days it is clearly the BBC's policy to fuck up, and take the piss out of viewers.
This latest edition today saw us served with four non-celebrities. I have no idea who these people were/are. One had something to do with historical novels, one has something to do with children's entertainment, and one was in a mobility scooter. The fourth, a chap in a suit, was simply bland.
I caught the programme just before half-time. This allowed me to witness the scores after each had revealed his or her knowledge on a specialised subject. The scores were 8, 9, 10 and 11. This was not so awful, really, despite the fact that my neighbour's pet goldfish could have answered 20% of the questions posed! The real revelations regarding the dimness of the competitors (I REFUSE to refer to them with the 'C' word - and I don't mean 'cunt').
The rabble upped their scored, one and all, BUT by rather differing levels. The suited bloke went from 10 to 20, and the woman who wrote books went to a winning score of 21 from 11. All rather boring, eh? It was the other two twats that did my head in and wasted a portion of my life that I'll not be able to reclaim, or get compensation for. The kids' entertainer of dubious renown (and intelligence) tortured me on his journey from 8 points to 13, during a two-and-a-half minute ordeal, and I was dumbfounded at the level of fucking ignorance. This caused me to query the qualification for appearing on a show like this. Clearly the 'Celebrity' requirement was something all four of them failed to meet. On the intelligence stakes, even with the questions being of a generously pathetic nature (allowing most people of sofas around the country to fart the fucking answers out, let alone just get them right) these buffoons were diabolically informed. Generally, knowledge is acquired to a level whereby answering a few easy questions should not prove too problematic. However, this show proves that the BBC can find people whose awareness is below the average, and also in the lower quartile. What better candidates then, to put on a TV screen.
Is there positive discrimination at play, I wonder. YES, just HAS to be the answer. The scooter rider manager to take her score from 9 points up to 11 in the second round. That's right, two cunting points! WTF?
As for the awarding of a trophy, that was simply a preposterous finale to the lamest load of shite ever broadcast on BBC1 - and I include Eastenders.
Dire.
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