It comes as no surprise to me that today's normal channels have offered fuck all by way of entertainment, and more than that, have had the nerve to consider some entries on the listings as suitable for anything, let alone viewing! Let's just have a run through the various highlights, which are of course lowlights, if you get my drift. I am so glad I am not unemployed, and consigned to the sofa for daytime television.
I have of course added my own notes alongside the actual printed details.
BBC1 11.00 Claimed and Shamed
A convict who faked a fall from his bunk bed. (HD)
Sounds as riveting as fuck! What next? "John Gets a Splinter - Oops, Not Really", maybe?
BBC1 11.30 Don't Get Done, Get Dom
Dominic Littlewood helps a couple whose caravan has damp. (R) (HD)
I wonder if Dominic ought to try doing something meaningful with his life.
BBC1 1.45 Doctors
Daniel struggles to control his anger, while Ayesha is given a taste of her own medicine. (HD)
This counts as "Pun of the Day", I suggest.
BBC1 3.00 Escape to the Continent
Anita Rani helps a London couple to find a new family home in Stockholm.
Surely to God the couple can do their own fucking house hunting?
BBC2 1.45 One Man and His Campervan
Martin Dorey searches for edible mushrooms. (R) (HD)
Tesco, mate, next to the cunting carrots!
BBC2 6.30 Beat the Brain
Four members of Bristol's Southville Running Club pit their wits against the all-knowing Brain in the hope of winning £3,000. John Craven hosts.
What a pointless exercise, and why does the Beeb feel obliged to occupy the tired and drab John Craven and his whistling through his teeth?
ITV 3.00 Dickinson's Real Deal
Corrie Jeffery is tempted by a menagerie of Royal Doulton animals. (HD)
I thought bestiality was illegal?
Channel 4 6.30 Hollyoaks
Reenie accuses Porsche of lying, while Sinead struggles to hide her feelings when John Paul offers to babysit. (HD)
All I can do is wonder at the move away from spelling Portia properly, as in the character from The Merchant of Venice, to the pathetic copying of the car manufacturer!
Channel 4 8.00 The Auction House
New series. The staff prepare for the biggest auction of the year. (HD)
Oh, so they get on and do their jobs, then. Hardly newsworthy.
Channel 4 9.00 24 Hours in A&E
A builder breaks his neck after falling off his shed. See Pick of the Day.
This sound comedic rather than tragic. Do we really have to run trailers and teasers for watching people who are in hospital?
Channel 5 11.10 Cowboy Builders & Bodge Jobs
A family with a leaky shower. (HD)
Fucking laughable.
Channel 5 12.00 Blinging Up Baby: The Blinger, The Better
A mother plans a lavish birthday party for her daughter. (R)
There is no place for shit like this on British television.
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