"I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. At that moment I hit my face against the player leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth." [Luis Suarez]
"There's Fellaini, doing what he does best." [Clarke Carlisle, on the replay showing Fellaini elbowing an opponent in the face]
"He got his head and his neck in the way of a 6 foot 4 German." [Mark Lawrenson explaining sarcastically why it was Higuain's fault that he was clattered by the German keeper]
"They've found their feet." [Danny Murphy]
"They've got more legs." [Danny Murphy displaying stupidity]
"He just lends himself across the front of the back four." [Martin Keown, talking shit]
"In the last ten minutes, Belgian came alive." [Alan Shearer being typically thick]
"They're two young kids, just twenty-one." [Alan Shearer, being patronising]
"They've got to move the ball quicker in and around the last third." [One or the other, please, Andy Townsend]
"He's played very smart, very clever." [Andy Townsend, refusing to acknowledge adverbs exist]
"It's the way he outstrengthed Varane." [Ian Wright talking shite]
"The more I see them the more they replica that '86 squad." [Glenn Hoddle being a thick twat]
"It's brought the stadium back to the cacophony of noise we started with." [Clarke Carlisle trying to be clever, and stupidly deciding that 'cacophony' needs the word 'noise' to explain it]
"To coin a cliche." [Adrian Chiles proving he's a moron]
"There are question marks about them to be answered." [An old favourite used by a commentator, as if one can answer a question mark.]
"They're not left in tight vicinity of one of their opponents." [Clarke Carlisle trying to match Glenn Hoddle for talking gibberish]
"Both were unanimous." [Gabriel Clarke talking shit]
"That's good collective squeezing from Algeria." [Andy Townsend]
"One player in particular, Lampard, or Gerrard." [Phil Neville]
"They just don't know when they're beat." [Martin Keown, still ignoring a whole tense of the English language]
"His manager is doing outstanding." [Keown also removing adverbs from the English language and substituting adjectives]
"There was some positives there." [Glenn Hoddle - I give up]
"He's got his hand in and around Sturridge's throat." [An Andy Townsend classic]
"What do either side need to do?" [Guy Mowbray stubbornly making the singular noun plural]
"We're not surprised that Holland have whined/wind/wined up at this stage of the competition." [Clarke Carlisle reinventing how to say 'wound up']
"The idea's been muted for a while." [Sam Matterface, meaning 'mooted' of course]
"Robben just dropped into a pocket of space." [Guy Mowbray talking mumbo jumbo]
"If you get touched, go down." [Glenn Hoddle!]
"The Germans look more calmer." [Rio Ferdinand, refusing to speak English]
"I'm sure people are bored at me banging on about . . . . " [Adrian Chiles, at last talking sense]
"Will the Greeks be at all offensive tonight? [Matt Smith, and the answer is . . 'probably']
"They trust their hod carriers in behind Messi." [Clarke Carlisle talking bollocks / bricks]
"At such an integral moment." [Ian Wright, meaning 'important']
"I don't fink that no way he blah blah blah . . . " [Ian Wright, as ever]
"Chewy Luis made the news." [Dan Walker, actually being funny with his reference to Luis Suarez]
"It was more Delia than Biglia, wasn't it?" [Mark Lawrenson, being as sexist as ever]
"Mueller's like a rash, isn't he?" [Martin Keown being rather uncomplimentary]
"He's got that pass in the locker, hasn't he, Kroos." [Martin Keown, on one of his many references regarding what players have in their lockers]
"Look at the wing span on him." [Martin Keown, regarding the German keeper, Neuer]
"A promising career ruined by a needling brain injury." [Andy Townsend, commenting on Nani]
"The Germans might declare in a minute." [Martin Keown, trying to be funny]
...
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