27.5.11 Newspaper Padding

What causes a newspaper editor to think we all need to read pathetic articles/features from which we gain nothing.  It seems to me that there are spare pages in many newspapers, and rather than print something useful, idiots are commissioned to produce pointless articles.  In Wednesday's Daily Express, we learned - "How to slash the cost of your home".  This amazing piece of investigative journalism was so enlightening that I toyed with either slitting my wrists or eating my shoes, such was my level of despair.  There were, before me, a few paragraphs that could have been typed by a chihuahua taking dictation from a chipmunk who was relaying the thoughts of a mentally challenged amoeba.  Some of the key messages in each crappy paragraph were astounding.  For example -

Mortgages
"Mortgage repayments are likely to be your biggest household expense." 
"Find out if you can remortgage on a cheaper deal."

Council Tax
"This is another major household burden."
"If you are unemployed or on a low income, you may be eligible for help."

Household Insurance
"You can save money by shopping around for cheaper cover."

Avoid Cowboys
"Good tradesman [sic] don't come cheap, but using cowboy builders will be even more expensive."
"Word-of-mouth is the best way to find somebody you can trust, so ask your friends."
"It is worth getting two or three different quotes."

Household Appliances
"If you need a new TV or fridge, shop around."

Put Your Home To Work
"If you have a spare room, you could take in a lodger."

With photos, this feature took up a whole page and a few minutes of my life that I will never be able to reclaim.  To one side, there was an associated piece on utility bills, and some of the wonderful statements within it were:

"Closing curtains at dusk to stop heat escaping, turning off lights, using a full load in your washing machine or dishwasher and only boiling as much water as you need could help cut your bills."  [NO SHIT SHERLOCK!]

"If you are paying too much for your water, you are simply pouring money down the drain."

So, in summary, we can all save money by spending less.  What a fucking revelation!

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