18.8.15 Labour Is Doomed

Oh dear, what a mess the Labour Party is in.  I don't know where to start, in explaining just how hopeless things look.  In fact, I will not start at all, as that would be a waste of energy.

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17.8.15 Patronising Road Signs

Pummelled By The Bumper of a Runaway Qashqai ?

For some time we have had to suffer the advice offered by the overhead gantries on motorways, with the orange dots forming such pearls of wisdom as:

Tiredness Kills - Take a Break
Check Your Fuel Level
Drive Safely
Watch Your Speed
Check Your Tyre Pressure
Don't Crash

Okay, I made up the last one, but generally the stating of the obvious seems to be mandatory for these signs.  More annoying, though, is the trend for a slightly different approach, as displayed on the hard shoulder by alerts which have no doubt been dreamed up by some sort of advertising consultancy on behalf of the Highways Department.  This has lead to us now having a new source of disgruntlement while driving at a ludicrous 50mph while no cunt does a shred of work on the coned-off area of the motorway.  Over and above the "Stay Alert, Stay Alive" advice, we now have:


Let's all get home safely

Someone loves you, drive with care

No one likes a tailgater

Fuck right off with this shit!  I reckon these were possibly suggested by the peacemaker at the local pub who's first to say: "Come on now, we've all had a drink, let's calm down".  Arguably worse are the small advertising boards displaying a kid, alongside the message: "My dad works here".

This approach will clearly dissuade any lunatic driver from intentionally mowing down a random chap in a hard hat, and simultaneously orphaning the kid. Yeah, right.  As for safety, putting up signs with pictures means a driver's attention is drawn away from the road even more!

Perhaps the very best course of action that could be taken by the government to improve attention would be to make it illegal to display without approval the signs that now litter green fields.  The loophole (because the signs are not permanent) means any journey I make via a motorway allows me now to consider purchases from ebuyer, victorian bathrooms, and a host of other web-based retailers for diverse products; glasses, insurance, beds, cars, electrical goods and 20% of what is contained within the latest Argos cunting catalogue!

When I drive, I want to be allowed to do so without some cunt of a nanny working for the state, who thinks I do not know what's good for me, and thus feels the need to prompt me to think, slow down, check oil, fuel, water and tiredness levels, as well as tyre pressure, whilst noting speed limits, average speed checks, blokes in hard hats who have kids at home hoping that their dads will not be pummelled by the bumper of a runaway Qashqai.


And finally . . . . . .

Unnecessary on ANY level !

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12.8.15 Horrendous Daily Mail Online Rubbish

I have previously posted my frustration at the Mail Online for the horrendously pathetic offerings served up online, related to non-stories regarding females and their bodies.  Shitty Daily Mail Online captions for alleged 'stories' (on a spot check in the last hour) reveal the following crap.  See if you can spot a rather shallow theme, and complete lack of imagination, let alone credibility:


Miley Cyrus' girlfriend Stella Maxwell displays her supermodel legs in semi-sheer dress

Nicola Hughes flaunts her toned physique and slender legs

Lily Allen looks super-toned in a tiny neon thong

Rihanna goes braless in semi-sheer white vest

Alessandra Ambrosio shows off her flawless supermodel body in a skimpy bikini

Make-up free Anne Hathaway flashes a glimpse of her svelte bikini body

Slimmed down Lauren Goodger shows off her toned curves in tight vest

Sam Faiers displays her slender legs in tight grey leggings

Minka Kelly shows some skin in a backless olive green jumpsuit

Charlotte Crosby flaunts her athletic physique and long legs in a LBD

Stella Maxwell draws attention to her statuesque frame in a sexy thigh-slash number

Topless Rita Ora flashes her taut torso in sultry selfie

Taylor Swift puts on a typically leggy display in a flirty skater skirt

Topless Christina Aguilera posts semi-nude selfie

Michelle Keegan smoulders in thigh-high boots and figure-hugging leather

Christina Hendricks displays her famous curves in a rose-print dress

Cat Deeley puts on a leggy display in white hotpants

Emily Ratajkowski flashes a hint of toned tum in a cropped white tee

Is Kim Kardashian a role model for pregnant mums-to-be everywhere?

Rita Ora shows off her ample cleavage in a sexy satin bra and see-through top

Heidi Klum shows off her cleavage and toned legs in a plunging slashed LBD

Mel B shows off her gym-honed curves in a futuristic white dress

Emily Ratajkowski parades her toned legs

Kendall Jenner and Hailey Baldwin show off lean limbs in skintight outfits

Zendaya Coleman flatters her tall and slim figure

Lucy Mecklenburgh shows off her long bronzed legs

Lucy Hale slips her incredible body into daring bandage dress

Denise Richards and Fran Drescher showcase their toned legs

Elizabeth McGovern shows off her sexy legs and youthful looks

Jessica Gomes oozes street style cool as she shows off her trim pins

Boris Becker's glam wife Lilly displays her impressive figure

Kourtney Kardashian showcases her shrinking curves in black top

Nicole Scherzinger shows off her incredible bikini body in cobalt two-piece

Michelle Keegan flaunts her long legs in striped minidress

Amy Childs highlights her slender curves in a figure-hugging navy pencil dress

Flaunting the body which made her a sensation.  Natasha Oakley leaves little to the imagination

Chloe Green shows off her slim bikini body

Brooke Burke-Charvet shows off her incredibly toned figure in a shimmery bikini

Rita Ora reveals her ample chest as she goes braless in deconstructed half-shirt

Jasmin Walia casually parades her svelte bikini body

Lauren Silverman puts her stunning beach body on show

Melissa Gorga makes a splash in teeny mismatched bikini

Millie Mackintosh draws attention to her long limbs in short suede dress

Alessandro Ambrosio shows off her incredible bikini body

Melanie Sykes proudly flaunts her slim and toned bikini body

Amy Schumer shows off her VERY ample assets in a plunging white mini dress

Rihanna shows off her incredibly toned midriff in plunging black bralet

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11.8.15 Oxfam Figures

In broad terms, the annual figures apparently show an overall income of £401million, with only £298million being spent on 'charitable expenditure'.  In other words, £103million goes on paying running costs, admin, and wages.

A closer look shows the income is broken down into three main areas:
1 - Funding from governments at £180million +
2 - Sales from shops at £87million
3 - Charitable donations at £101million

Not sure where the other £40million comes from.  But aside from that gap, I am more concerned with the £24million spent 'raising money'.  On this point, I start to struggle even more with the whole thing.  If the shops bring in £87million, and governments contribute the bulk, that surely means the charitable donations and legacies which amount to £101million are the real results of money raising activities.  If no money were spent on that at all, then the charity could see donations drop to £77million without any real loss at all.

For anyone deciding to give to Oxfam, whether directly or via some sort of fund-raising sponsorship, I suggest it is rather galling to have to accept that the real economics mean a couple of interpretations are true:

Your donations have been 'drummed up' with an outlay of £24million, so out of your £1, almost 24p is not going to anything charitable.

But worse . . .

Your donations are pointless, as they form part of a £101million total, yet the charity spends £103million on running costs.

It follows from the above that if Oxfam did away with its promotional efforts, to save £24million, then it would be no worse off even if donations dropped to £77million - in which case there would be even more reason to stop the whole bandwagon, because then, for every £1 donated, there would be a minus figure going to charity, if the running costs are £103million.  Basically, you would need to up your contribution so that instead of £1.00 for there to be nothing going on charitable things, you would need to pay £1.30 so that nothing could go on charitable things.  What a mess.


Oxfam is not alone.  This general model applies to most of the large charities, and the UK is awash with big business hiding within 'charitable' status.

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3.8.15 Food Frenzy

Food is hitting our screens with a vengeance at the moment, and it's nauseating.  As if we were collectively suffering withdrawal systems, Berry has been resurrected for more Fuck Off Bake Off shenanigans.  I feel the relentless appearances of Hollybread, Perkins, Gridlock & Berry [no, this is not the name of a solicitor] are only outdone by the equally inappropriate ubiquity of Meerkats, and the worrying trends of copycats, in the form of Churchill & Brian. I am fully expecting there to be a 'Berry' touted to us in due course, perhaps as an enticement to some sort of baking course.

Elsewhere, we have the not-so-Great British Menu eating up loads of time on BBC2.  Expect 1325 references to how the winners will have be be 'up to scratch' to cook for the Women's Institute.  Yawn.  It wouldn't surprise me to see Berry at that event as well!  The hideous prospect of Mel Gridlock attempting to speak in a way that's bearable, let alone be funny to any degree at all, is enough in its own right to put off any sane potential viewer of this tent-based tosh.  By the way, the line-up of contestants this year has been picked with diversity not so much 'in mind' as rammed down our throats along with the food.  Politically correctness, apparently, is on the menu, while any ability to prepare food is totally optional.

As already mentioned, BBC1 and BBC2 have other food programmes, and these currently include:

Great British Menu
The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure [Surely this is a bit OTT considering we had The Hairy Bikers Come Home showing last week on BBC2?  The channel is obsessed with hair, what with its useless reality competition - Hair - that most certainly doesn't grow on you]
Back in Time for Dinner
Nigel Slater: Eating Together
Saturday Kitchen Best Bites
Rick Stein: From Venice to Istanbul
The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice
Can't Cook, Don't Cook, Won't Cook - Oh Go On Then, I'll Cunting Cook

Friday television is a farce - one that allows a food trail, should the viewer wish; here is the schedule:

5.00pm - 6.00pm: Couples Come Dine With Me (Channel 4)
Time to actually eat ?
7.00pm - 7.30pm: The Hairy Bikers' Asian Adventure (BBC2)
7.30pm - 8.00pm: Great British Menu (BBC2)
8.00pm - 8.30pm: Gino's Italian Escape: A Taste of the Sun (ITV)
Snack time ?
9.00pm - 10.00pm: BBQ Champ (ITV)
9.00pm - 9.30pm: The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice (BBC2)
9.30pm - 10.30pm: Rick Stein: From Venice to Istanbul (BBC2)


The dilemma at 9.00pm will surely frustrate food addicts, whose loyalty to BBC Food (the new name for BBC2) is tested by barbecue food which is of course hosted by the internationally renowned Michelin Star chef . . . . Myleene Klass.

Very Preposterous

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30.7.15 Baku Asian Games

The Baku Games have been touted as the Baku European Games, which is simply preposterous, considering Baku is not in Europe.  I am fed up with boundaries and definitions being stretched to cunting fuck, to suit the agendas of certain people and factions.

The tip of the orange area, far right, is where you'll find Baku
on the coast of the Caspian Sea !

As an aside, I will just mention that Team GB should of course be Team GB & Northern Ireland.  As for anyone wanting to argue the point about Baku and Azerbaijan, fuck off.

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26.7.15 Labour Lunacy

It seems that Jeremy Corbyn is getting support from the more-than-irritating Russell Brand, as well as the only-slightly-less-irritating Charlotte Church.  If ever there were reasons to choose a completely opposite course, then RB and CC are two of them.

I suspect that Jeremy Corbyn will, if successfully elected, manage to make the Labour Party even more unelectable.  Any support that Church and Brand can garner to this end is therefore welcome enough; I just wish the whole mess did not have to feature in the news, and take up valuable space better used on some other story.

I find it rather distasteful that these two multi-millionaires feel it falls to them to dictate to the poor who voting should proceed.  Church has clearly been affected by Brand to some degree, and I suspect she's been practising her spouting of rubbish - for example:

"For the first time in my adult life . . . there is a politician who has a chance of actually doing something to create a shift in the paradigm, from corporate puppetry to conscious social representation."

Okay, luv, thanks for that.  Not sure that can fit on a placard though. Elsewhere, trumping both of these two wealthy allegedly-left-wing nuisances is the rather more self-centred, greedy and arrogant Tony Blair.

He seems to think he is qualified to pontificate, with 'advice' on all things Labour, when he is most surely the most despicable capitalist in the world ? How anyone can put up with his sanctimoniousness is unfathomable, and yet for some reason, people seem to want to pay him millions for fuck all.

Back to the Labour Party, and we've just seen a few weeks of pathetic interim-leadership, although I accept the term has no business being employed in respect of Harriet Harman's awful efforts to seem competent - an absolute no go considering her ineptitude to date, alongside numerous scandals.

Harriet should get in her pink van and drive off into the sunset; I know a good route via Beachy Head  In the meantime, I thought I had better offer some assistance to any of you who have become slightly confused regarding who's who, seeing as the newcomer in the title race for Labour leader is perhaps less well known than some, and to this end, I have sought to highlight three individuals who should not be muddled up.

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