After just three days, I have been able to draw a number of conclusions regarding the World Cup, and the coverage in the UK.
Brazil
First, we have learned that the Brazil team is a long way short of excellent, and will have to rely on refereeing bias to try and make good on the deficit. So far (well, after just one match) that seems to be a good policy, and to Croatia's annoyance and dismay, Brazil managed to steal three points from the opening game. Meanwhile, the Japanese referee is probably in hiding, fearing retribution from Croatians. David Luiz is not happy either, as Neymar seems to have stolen his status as thug-of-the-month. Fred simply proved on Thursday night that he will fall over if he receives a tap on the shoulder. Let's hope at the next family wedding, when he's on the dance floor with a woman, that a tap on the shoulder by an uncle who wants to take over the dance does not turn into a claim for a fucking penalty, while he writhes on the floor in agony. Let's instead hope that there's someone in authority to decide it's more of a case of Oops Upside Your Head.
Mexico
Despite superior play for most of the game, Mexico managed to win just 1-0 against Cameroon. Luckily for all concerned, the efforts of the officials to thwart the Mexicans were unsuccessful and after disallowing two legitimate goals, no one could deny that the third goal had to stand. Conspiracy theorists might have argued that this bias against Mexico was in fact aimed at giving an advantage to Brazil. Mexico deserved to win, against the 11 Macaroons and the three Officials. If the inept, and "physical" opponents [for this, read "dirty"] had won, I would have envisaged mayhem.
Cameroon
Generally without much of a clue and not very interesting to watch. Not averse to tripping, kicking, barging or showing studs.
Spain
What a disastrous start. I blame the obsession with pointless passes, a feature of the Spanish game that sends statisticians loopy. Yes, the pass success may well typically reach 98%, but 60% of passes in any game are usually unnecessary. This level of overkill produced no goals. The one goal that was scored came from a dubious penalty. No one can say for sure whether the back leg received any contact, but there is no doubt at all that the Spanish ** player played for it. After that, the chance missed by David Silva was the last time Spain had a real chance to make something of the game. After that, the Dutch marched forward and simply outplayed the Spanish.
** Diego Costa is now Spanish, but two years ago he was Brazilian. How fickle, and this must be behind the various jeering that accompanied his efforts during the game. It might, though, have been the airing of general discontent for his having escaped punishment for a head butt. Either way, an unpopular bloke in Brazil. I was going to make more of Costa's dubious nationality, but this morning's Daily Mail highlights that 208,000 immigrants were last year given British passports, so I think that one footballer is perhaps rather less worrying than the city-full portions of acceptance happening each year in the UK.
Netherlands
The "The" seems to have been dropped in most areas of reporting and coverage, these days - slightly less of a change than the complete renaming of "Holland", the team that used to be present in World Cups in years gone by. Robben and Van Persie are on fire, and so with the added support of Manchester United fans, the Dutch are on a high, and so very orange at the moment.
Chile
A certain flair proves that Chile has come a long way since the Battle of Santiago in 1962. [If you've never seen it, put it into YouTube and marvel at the outrageousness] In those days, the players somehow felt entitled to kick shit out of each other. Fortunately this trait was not carried forward to the modern game, except by Roy Keane, who is of course an exception in all respects - Southgate will tell you.
These days, Chile is able to field a team of players rather than entrants to a Kung-Fu tournament, and the team has been described as the 'dark horse' of the World Cup. Australia certainly came off worse.
Australia
Unfortunately there's little hope for the Australians, and despite great efforts, the team will most surely be ejected very shortly.
ITV
Despite attempts by protesters to silence Adrian Chiles, he manages to drone on still. The thick glass that shielded him from the stones and rocks thrown by Brazilian protesters did its job, which is a result for the insurers and for ITV, but a travesty for football coverage and the ears of millions. This is all made worse by the fact that ITV seems to need a full hour before kick-offs to bore us into submission. I have looked ahead to coverage this coming week, and it seems that on some occasions, programmes start less than an hour beforehand, mercifully. Aside from Chiles, there is the completely fucking useless theme song that's played - the one that appears to have just one word - "Brazil". What shite.
Talking of shite - or not, as it turns out - we've at least been spared the views of Roy Keane for this World Cup, after he ducked out at the last second - unlike his hapless victims when Roy was kicking his way round a football pitch.
His choice to keep away from Brazil was a welcome one, and I for one am very pleased that someone with a rather brutal record is not given licence to pontificate on the efforts of professional footballers.
BBC
Despite the BBC sending nearly 300 people to Brazil [as though it were Sparta] I must be grateful that there is no Adrian Chiles equivalent. Further, the preamble to any match is limited to 30 minutes, and thus more than enough. For this reason, plus the lack of Chiles, lack of advert breaks and lack of "Brazil" being mentioned to accompanying guitar music every few minutes, I'll be pleased to watch BBC1 while retaining annoyance that ITV gets 50% of the rights.
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