8.3.20 TV Guidance

I thought I would offer some guidance on the week's offerings, just to help you navigate your way through the shit.  'Navigate' is appropriate as the journeying of alleged celebrities is good place to start.

Celebrity Britain By Barge: Then And Now
What the fucking fuck? Bill Oddie, Jennie Bond, Anne Diamond and Pete Waterman on a barge for 80 minutes of supposed entertainment.  Navigate away from this.

Grand Tours Of Scotland's Lochs
Paul Merton now turning his attention to the UK (while Scotland is still part of it) having finished moping around India or wherever he was last time, in a linen suit.  I am no fan at all of the word 'Great' in programme names, but I am slightly unnerved at 'Grand' in case this becomes a trend, building on Grand Designs.

Extreme Wales With Richard Parks
He's exploring the River Teifi and Kayaking, if you're interested.

Dom Does America
Sadly this is a very long way short of Debbie Does Dallas, and we are instead served Dominic Littlewood sampling life on a cattle ranch in Texas.

Joanna Lumley's Hidden Caribbean: Havana To Haiti
The breathy and gushing, grinning Lumley is on another free trip, adding little value to anyone's awareness.  She is so hard to put up with on screen, and affected as fuck in her delivery of any information.  I'd prefer a programme that used just the first three words, actually.

Secrets Of First Class With Sally And Nigel
Nigel Havers and Sally Lindsay add to carbon emissions, flying around and telling us about it. Fuck off with that!

enough on well known people moving around, let's have a look at some of the other low lights of the week, perhaps with a quick-fire approach.

ITV - The Trouble With Maggie Cole
Is that she's on our cunting screen.  No, Dawn, move along, please!

Channel 4 - Five Guys A Week
Dating show, plummeting the depths, as ever.

Channel 5 - Britain's Naughtiest Nursery
Spoilt totally by the last two letters of the title.

ITV - Tipping Point: Best Ever Finals
"Compilation of some of the most dramatic endgames."  What the cunting fuck?

Fucking food etc:
Living On The Veg
Beat The Chef
Come Dine With Me
Cooking Up A Fortune
MasterChef
Lorraine's Fast, Fresh and Easy Food [better without the last word]
The Hairy Bikers' Comfort Food
Saturday Kitchen Best Bites
Ready Steady Cook
Saturday Kitchen
James Martin's Saturday Morning
Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares USA
James Martin's French Adventure
Terry And Mason's Great Food Trip
Best Home Cook
Food Unwrapped
The Great Celebrity Bake Off
Rick Stein's Secret France

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