29.3.18 Gender Neutral Farce

I have no issue with anyone wanting to be happy and comfortable with who they are, but I have a real issue with the English language being fucked over because people want to 'adopt' words, and through sheer willfulness, abuse language whilst daring anyone to challenge them for being out of order.

Take the misplaced assertion by some whose ambition is to declare themselves gender neutral, and insist that there is no 'he' or 'she', but instead insist on 'them'.  I refuse to refer to someone as them (a plural pronoun) or they.  Quite simply this is nonsensical - and it is nothing to do with any discrimination etc.

Sarah Montague was on the Today Programme this morning, talking to Jay Bernard.  Aside from the fact that in just three minutes, Jay used 'sort of' or 'kind of' 22 times (wtf?) I listened to Montague saying: "I know you used to be she and her, and now you're they and them".  Absolute twaddle; singular cannot be made plural on a whim.  The world is full of too much crap like this. 

LGBT is fine, LGBTQIAPK+ is rather taking the piss, and the 'they/them' bollocks is simply outrageous.

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25.3.18 Men Expert

Can there be anything that displays L'Oreal as nothing like an 'expert' more perfectly than the ludicrous deodorant that lasts up to 96 hours?

Which idiotic marketing wizard teamed up with a product development nut job to determine it was a good thing to suggest to men that not washing for four days is acceptable.  Endorsing such an approach is criminal, and I believe the word 'Expert' should be dropped from the range of shit offered to men who are incapable of buying supplies unless the word 'Men' features.

I think it is perhaps rather ironic that the colour scheme is black and yellow - universally denoting a hazard.  I wonder if it contains formaldehyde, to coat the body in some sort of protective layer?

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24.3.18 Dutch Mascot Is A Star

What a fantastic start to the friendly match between The Netherlands and England last night.  For me it was the highlight of the encounter.  This girl will go far.  She took her opportunity in front of the cameras, and this is something that England players rarely do.

The football was a bore, with so much backwards and sideways passing that it was painful to watch.  "Pass it forwards, you cunts!" is an example of my commentary as Mrs MWSC and I watched paint dry.

I suspect this will be her first and only cap for Holland, but no one will forget her appearance.

Here is one of a thousand links on social media, if you want to watch.

https://twitter.com/djwskyblu/status/977271063787790338

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23.3.18 Horrendous Harriet Harman

An absolute twat, and distasteful as fuck, Ms Harman continues to piss off sensible people with her perverse views and inflated view of her own importance.

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11.3.18 Dancing On Ice Fiasco

I could just as easily have titled this post as "Why Britain Is Fucked - Reason 78".  I refrained from doing do simply because I've yet to give the details on far more pressing reasons for the UK being fucked.

The biggest single issue with the final is Brooke Vincent.  I had very little against the woman before she took to the ice (I use this expression loosely of course) but I am now annoyed as fuck by her complete lack of real input.  The real travesty is that the woman has reached the fucking final.  This proves nothing other than Britain is fucked!

In the semi-final, which of course included the last four contestants and resulted in three going through to the final (?) Brooke was allegedly "doing it for the people of Manchester", and gave a pathetic rallying speech involving the bombing last year, and the Ariana Grande concert.  She topped it off with a "performance" to a hit by said vocalist, and this was all under he umbrella term of "girl power" that Brooke decided was yet another reason for her to be rewarded by an appearance in the final.

The viewing public was fooled, and she got through last week.  This was unbelievable because she simply cannot skate anywhere near the standard of the others.  I used in the previous paragraph the work 'performance' but by that I meant her being hauled around the ice, lifted and put down at intervals, and avoiding any solo input where the required level was moving at greater than 5mph.

The final has proven beyond any doubt that this interloper should be run over by a glacier - possible only because the glacier of course would be moving quicker than Brooke!

The Coronation Street fans, Ariana Grande fans, the 'people of Manchester' and any female thinking 'girl power' is a worthy battle cry should collectively be ashamed of themselves.  For fuck's sake, Cheryl Baker at least had the good grace to know she is shite - Brooke is deluded enough to think she is good!  The Genie In A Bottle routine this evening was an exercise in dire attendance rather than actual skating.  Donna Air clung to her partner like a crane fly stuck to sellotape in earlier rounds; Brooke is no better.

All of this is not to deter attention to the whole series being rather shit, and the standard of skating overall is well below that of years gone by.  Why on earth ITV has brought back the show and buggered with the format is odd.  As for the voting, we all know the public cannot be trusted.  If ever there was proof that these shows are popularity contests rather than linked to talent, the vote was declared open by Schofield right at the top of the programme, before any cunt had touched frozen water.

The first half of the show is over and Max has been ejected!  Brooke Vincent is through to the cuntil last two.

What the cunting fuck?

The Dancing On Ice viewers must surely be having an absolute laugh.  It reminds me of the efforts made by the public to scupper Simon Cowell's expectations for the X-Factor winner being Number 1 in the singles chart at Christmas.  Is there a UK-wide movement to crown Brooke Vincent the winner as a complete piss take?  Her Bolero Bollocks is coming up soon.

Jake's performance was very good.  Sadly Jason had to use the affected pronunciation of 'homage' for no reason at all - it is a word that is 100% English, aside from it's route.

Brooke Vacuous was up next, after her VT intro showing her use the word 'iconic' multiple times.  Matej guided her around the ice, and she performed much akin to a curling stone.  'Tame' sums up everything she has done all series.

I have heard Christopher Dean describe Brooke's journey as 'incredible' when 'fucking farcical' would have been more appropriate.  So the whole thing comes down to how much piss the general public wants to take out of DOI and ITV.  Until then, the dire and useless Jordan Banjo is 'interviewing' the contestants, but this has proven a challenge for him for many weeks, mainly because he struggles to speak coherently.  His contributions have been a complete waste of space.

T&D took to the ice and of course were excellent.  Then it was over to the formulaic and predictable S&W.  'Incredible journey' was bandied around a bit more, and we had to endure from S&W some recaps on the two finalists' experiences.  Is a complete farce about to be revealed, with BV beating JQ? 

Thankfully Jake was announced as the winner.

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11.3.18 Pizza Hut Advert

"Order quick and easy."

Fucking get it right, Pizza Hut!  Quickly and Easily

3.3.18 Robyn Cowen and the Shriek-O-Meter

Congratulations to Ian Williams, one of the many reporters on Final Score, charged with giving us news on a football game.  Today's programme was hosted by the slightly annoying Eilidh Barbour.  I say "congratulations" because Ian scored zero on the Shriek-O-Meter.  He was willing and able to divulge his observations in a normal voice, without any hint of a fucking shriek.

Ian Williams was the clear winner, with his 'zero' on the scale, maintained over more than a single report.   A similar score was achieved by another 'Williams', namely Mike Williams, who also managed to remain normal during his one delivery.  There were, however, some other commendable performances.

Level 1
Kenny Crawford, Peter Slater, Chris Wise, Adrian Cottier, Hamish Marshall

Level 2
Joe Shennan, Ivan Gaskell

Level 3
Laurence Herdman, Sue Smith

Level 4
Mark Scott, Adam Whitty

But soaring above all of these were two real shriekers, vying for top spot.  The ludicrously loud Naz was determined to kill my ears.

Level 9
Naz Premji

But he could not claim top spot.  No, this was captured with absolute certainty by Robyn Cowen.

Yes, her horrendous, nasal, grating tirade was by far and away the most offensive reporting style of the day (and week, year, decade).  The pitch and loudness of her input is what the Shriek-O-Meter was made for.  She scored a perfect TEN.

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