26.3.19 Bad Driver of the Day

How not to drive

1 - Leave a dual carriageway too late, at high speed, and force your way on to the two lane slip road
2 - Find yourself stuck in the right lane and need to move left but there is no space
3 - Be forced to slow and take your turn in joining the left filter
4 - Tailgate
5 - As the car in front moves over to the left on the new dual carriageway, zoom past
6 - Cut across to the left lane, missing the car by 6ft at 70mph

Mad woman in a Mercedes, best described by my favourite word.
PE64 PCU

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19.3.19 The Slippery Slope

Thirty years ago, the mispronunciation of "negotiate" had established itself in the UK.  For no good reason at all, and at odds with everything linked to the English language, people were thinking how clever they were, to say "nego-see-ate" instead of "nego-she-ate".

This is "NOT NEGO-SHE-ABL" and not "NOT NEGO-SEE-ABL"

This development was an unwelcome one, and probably came about because of the well establish variation before then in relation to words with a middle 'c' rather than 't'.  Words like "association" were already on the hit list for twats deciding that "asso-see-ashun" was okay, and preferable to "asso-she-ashun".  I suppose the justification for this, in the minds of the offenders, was that 'c' offers two possibilities for pronunciation.  There is NO justification at all for changing these words, let alone "negotiate".

We are now stuck with extra hissing in our language.  The slippery slope has drawn in other examples now.  On the radio last week, and not for the first time, I heard the word "initiate" pronounced by a politician (or is that "poli-ti-see-an"?) in a most ludicrous fashion - "ini-see-ate".  What the fuck?

Last year on Radio 4 a maths professor demonstrated complete cuntishness by talking about a "ray-see-o" instead of "ray-she-o" [RATIO of course].  This obsession with hissing is in play as well on OFFICIATE, DIFFERENTIATE, APPRECIATE, SPECIES and more.

We now have to endure even more hissing, linked to the "double s" that has for my lifetime necessitated a "shoo" sound in the words "tissue" and "issue".  We now have prissy cunts who insist on over emphasising the delivery of another fucking hiss.  "Issss-you".  What the cunting fuck?

How long before the magazine seller on the street corner calls out "Big Issss-you"?  No way would such a cry yield any result from me in terms of a purchase. 

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16.3.19 Adblue At Asda

A quick search for Adblue gave me two options to choose between, plus the invaluable information that customers looking for Adblue also ordered other items, and the system felt it was relevant to offer me the opportunity of ordering a DVD called Mary and the Witch's Flower, and some strawberry yoghurts.

Never in the history of the internet has there been such a useless and pointless suggestion of further things of relevance that a shopper might like.

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10.3.19 Dear ITV

Dear ITV

Will you please give consideration to some necessary improvements in how you run your channel.

1 - Small Fortune (Saturday nights)

This pathetic effort is simply a pain to watch, and Dermot O'Dreary does absolutely nothing to convince anyone he wants to be there in favour of washing his hair.  The most obvious fury-inducing element however is the voice-over input from none other than Brian Blessed, booming his affected decibels with completely non-essential information that has determined I do not watch the programme.  The approach is a fuck-up of the one taken with The Cube.  A single episode of this Small Fortune experience was enough to point me towards watching paint dry in preference.

2 - Trailers (Every fucking day, about 100 times)

'Cheat' - Stop Ramming It Down My Throat

FUCK OFF with your relentless trailers for the same up-coming programmes.  'Cheat' has been lobbed on to my screen for three cunting fucking weeks, at every opportunity.  I will not be watching as I am sick to the cunting back teeth of the abuse inflicted on me by the controllers of ITV.  'The Bay' is another one at the moment, and we recently had 'Cleaning Up', which was always unwatchable because of  Sheridan Smith anyway, but more so what with the many weeks of being bombarded with trailers beforehand.  ITV never learns that far from promoting these programmes, the relentless touting of them with trailers is having a detrimental and opposite effect!

3 - ITV Be (The dregs of 'entertainment')

If I wanted to watch this cunting rubbish, I would tune in.  I choose NOT TO, and yet I cannot escape the continual touting of this low level, low IQ, low relevance shit!  ITV is obsessed with trying to encourage me to have some interest in utter bollocks.  Get a grip please, ITV!  The CIC* need to review just about everything, including the latest revised graphics that flick up between programmes, and in tandem with pointless trailers.

4 - Dancing On Ice (Ending today)

The Final today means that we can all move on now.  The madness of this programme is matched by the tedium of the formulaic approach.  Phil and Holly stand there telling us how each competitor has "given it their all", earning tens of thousands per episode.  Gemma Collins has this series been pandered to like fucking royalty while expecting her to skate as much as a bolder rolling across a glacier.

5 - Alastair Stewart

Please can you pay this nob off, serve notice, and save us all the sickly and creepy grimace that her delivers in lieu of a smile.  While you are at it, please dispense with the "services" of Julie (R)Etchingham, whose superior/condescending and patronising delivery is simply unwelcome.  Go and look sincere at your reflection, and see how annoying it is.


[*Cunts In Charge]

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17.2.19 Brexit - The Truth

Brexit - The Truth

Corbyn offers nothing, he's in fact a waste of space
McDonnell is a lunatic, a nutter in your face
The Labour ship is lost at sea, with nothing in the hold
Just Diane Abbott, only good for ballast truth be told.

Tories take the biscuit though, they're at each other's throats
Disharmony is total from Land's End to John o'Groats
As Brexit looms the clock runs down, and standing at the front
Theresa May presents us with the proof she is a cunt.

Her deal is all she cares about, plan A with no plan B
But no one likes the 'backstop', least of all the DUP
Her tactics are quite shameful and she's running down the clock
The stubborn bitch has fucked it and become a laughing stock.

Sturgeon bleats her Scottish song, determined to be heard
She mithers on and craves attention, weak but undeterred
And then there is Farage the fucker, giving not a shit
He struts around the Europe that he wants to fucking quit.

The Speaker shouts for 'Order' in the weirdest, noisy style
To try and stop the bickering and jeering for a while
Remainers want another vote, unlike the Brexiteers
Who all line up behind Rees-Mogg with fingers in their ears.

Voting in the Commons is a farcical affair
The empty hole is fully round, the peg is fucking square
The factions all want different things and no one will unite
As May, in grey, is scared to say her deal is utter shite.

If truth be told the mess we're in should come as no surprise
The Leave Campaign was scandalously based on many lies
None bigger than the savings promised, written on a bus
And now we're facing WTF? or pointless Norway Plus.

I'm sick of certain words and phrases, rhetoric on tap
Of squabbling politicians getting paid for talking crap
"Delivering on Brexit" is the battle cry of those
Who fear a second vote in case the yeses turn to noes.

Ireland proves a stumbling block, the cause of much ado
It's not as if the border there is something fucking new
However was it meant to work?  To date I'm still amazed
Concerns that things were feasible were never fully raised.

Back and forth to Brussels, May is shuttled like a cock
To meet with Tusk and Juncker, but discussions won't unlock
The stalemate created by red lines she won't review
And now we're fucking crashing out, she hasn't got a clue.

Nauseating Gove and Boris, Brokenshire as well
Plus Leadsom, Hammond, Amber Rudd, with Morgan and Patel
All Tories in the Commons but without a common view
But May decides to soldier on, her language fucking blue.

Corbyn writes a letter with an offer of support
Without of course intent to offer help of any sort
He sneers and shuffles here and there, one useless waste of space
Inspiring no one, leading nothing, simply out of place.

Running down the clock is still the tactic of the tit
A solid dose of blackmail is her way to heal the split
MPs will have no choice but to support her in the end
Outrageous shit behaviour no sane person could defend.

But maybe she's miscalculated, time will surely tell
The ERG may lead us all to economic hell
And watching us in disbelief and absolute dismay
The EU twenty-seven will be calling it a day.

For now the tug of war goes on, and nowhere is there trust
Conservatives are simply playing twist until they bust
While Corbyn ducks the issues and ignores his own MPs
Who advocate a second vote, but Jezza disagrees.

Fifty-two to forty-eight, the referendum split
In favour of departure, but decisive?  Not a bit!
Misleading information in a Leave Campaign that sucked
Persuaded just enough to vote to leave, yes, leave us fucked.

Talk about a country in a catastrophic mess
So thank you, David Cameron, for causing such distress
The rich will always manage well, as poorer folk lose out
And some still have no fucking clue what all this is about.

Companies are relocating, jobs are under threat
Investment's stalled and those in charge are hedging every bet
"No re-negotiation" means we're left with diddly squat
As May, in grey, is scared to say she's lost the fucking plot.

Self-inflicted wounds are rife, stupidity is plain
As Parliament displays its weakness time and time again
The voting games are ludicrous, amendments come and go
And Tories bleat the same old shit, and keep the status quo.

Leaving will be chaos, yes, the future's looking rough
The value of the pound is set to plummet soon enough
Control regained, as some will say, is worth the massive cost
But even they will see one day that too much has been lost.

The future's looking rather shit, the UK will not last
The Scots will vote themselves away, with independence passed
The Northern Irish too will find a new way to exist
And even Wales may want its feelings not to be dismissed.

The bigots will be basking in their qualified success
At telling Johnny Foreigner it's "No" instead of "Yes"
But that can only hurt us more, and put us in reverse
As slowly we lose decency and lose another nurse.

Were voters well informed, aware of consequences too?
Was everything explained and were the details given true?
Of course they weren't, the referendum was quite simply flawed
And now the forty-eight point one percent are just ignored.

TMWSC

All I hear from politicians who are desperate to leave the EU at any cost is the need to deliver Brexit after 17.4 million people voted for it (despite knowing fuck all about the terms of the departure).  If just 630,000 of them had voted the other way (and we now know that this would have been the case with proper information available back then) then we would be staying in the EU.  With such a close result, there was never going to be any proper compromise from the various political parties.  So give or take, we are a split nation.  Surely in such circumstances, the best approach has to be to avoid significant detrimental economic impact.  That's either from a good exit deal that minimises the grief, or, from a double-checking of the decision itself that could obviously remove any impact at all.

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8.2.19 Dame Sally Davies

Until this week I'd never really heard of Sally Davies, or if I had, she hadn't registered as anyone I needed to have a view on.  That changed this week, after her input on the Today programme on Radio 4.  The Chief Medical Officer for England is quite clearly a frosty woman who has a rather inflated impression of herself, and in turn, I suggest, the 'reverence' that people need to have for her and her views.

I say all this after hearing Nick Robinson put forward a simple question, and her unwarranted and inappropriate response, accusing him of sexism.  What a silly woman; clearly educated, but silly.

During an interview about advice to parents on the use of mobile phones (advice that turned out to be rather pathetic, actually) Nick put it to her:

You always have this question, so I know you're familiar with it - this balance you have to get between nannying on the one hand, or being accused of it at least, and on the other hand, banality, stating things that are obvious.

Hardly a challenging concept for her to grasp, and in fact very generous in its simplicity because it sets things up for her to provide an easy answer and view.

"I thought you were going to be sexist," said Dame Davies, and as I drove my car along the dual carriageway, I struggled to understand how on earth he was being sexist at all, and why she came up with such an absurd comment.

"I'm not sure I understand which bit of that is sexist," said Nick, matching my own thoughts.

"I wonder whether you would say that to a male Chief Medical Officer," said Dame Silly Davies.

At this point I decided that she is a twat, and someone who has muscled her way along in life, possibly threatening in her deportment, and probably rather intimidating generally.  This is typical of those who operate with the strap-line "I'm a woman in a man's world and so I am going to be a pain in the arse and challenging in every way, without cause most of the time".

"No, I said you are often accused of being a nanny, I didn't say I accused you of being a nanny." (Nick)

"Ah, clever" was her pompous retort.

She has, as recently as December, referred to herself as Chief Nanny, so it seems she is simply confrontational when it suits her, and cherry picks issues for contention.  It seems she's decided to step down now, and will later this year end her tenure as the first female CMO, in favour of becoming the first female Master of Trinity College, Cambridge.  I am sure she will be equally adept in the discipline of 'beating up males' and making gender her nauseating raison d'etre.  

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3.2.19 Why The UK Is Fucked - No. 692

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