1.3.21 DPD Driving Standards

BD67 XYU

This is the registration of the DPD van that was this evening (5.30pm) travelling at 80+ miles per hour on the A19, tailgating, trying to undertake, weaving/lane hopping and doing so in fog, with no lights on.  I am not sure there was much else the driver could have done to increase the basis for 'dangerous driving', other than be on the phone at the same time.  I had no chance to see if this was so.  Clearly the arsehole was hurrying back to the Billingham depot and gave not an ounce of shit if there were any consequences from the appalling 'driving'.  Not so much 'shameful' as cunting outrageous.

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26.2.21 What's On TV?

The egos that prevail on TV these days are numerous and annoying.  No longer can a TV programme have a title that simply gives an indication or hint of the content.  No - instead, it seems that the convention has changed to one where the cunt presenting the shite is entitled to have his or her name in the title.  This reinforces the desperation of 'personalities' (NOT 'celebrities') and their clamour for kudos and recognition.  I have avoided noting all the chat shows because the interviewer is of course the basis for the show, but in most other other circumstances, the inclusion of the person's name is either unnecessary or a farce.  Let's have a look at some programmes in the TV Guide.  All of these could be listed as per the orange part, with the person presenting simply being the one doing the job.

Rick Stein's Cornwall

Interior Design Masters With Alan Carr

James Martin's American Adventure

Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway

Sally Lindsay's Posh Sleepover

Jane McDonald: Cruising Scandinavia

Jane McDonald: Cruising Scotland

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Frankie Boyle's Tour Of Scotland

Darcy Bussell's Wild Coasts of Scotland

Himalaya With Michael Palin

Mel Giedroyc: Unforgivable

Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish

Weird Or What? With William Shatner

Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild

Britain By Bike With Larry And George Lamb

Susan Calman's Grand Day Out In ...

Chris Packham's Animal Einsteins

Darcey Bussell: Looking For Margot

Love Your Weekend With Alan Titchmarsh

Cornwall And Devon Walks With Julia Bradbury

Bradley & Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad

Harry Redknapp's Sandbanks Summer

Joanna Lumley's Home Sweet Home: Travels In My Home Land

George Clarke's Old House, New Home

George Clarke's Build A New Life In The Country

George Clarke's Amazing Spaces

Ugly House To Lovely House With George Clarke

Richard Osman's House Of Games

RuPaul's Drag Race UK

Coastal Railways With Julie Walters

Kate Humble's Coastal Britain

Gregg Wallace's Fun Weekend

Gordon Ramsay's Bank Balance

Brian Johnson's A Life On The Road

Blitz Spirit With Lucy Worsley

Richard Hammond's BIG

Kirstie And Phil's Love It Or List It: Brilliant Builds

Extraordinary Escapes With Sandi Toksvig

Kevin McCloud's Escape To The Wild

Rachel Khoo's Simple Pleasures

John Torode's Australia

Jon Snow's Very Hard Questions

Madhur Jaffrey's Curry Nation

Emma Willis: Delivering Babies In 2020

Kirstie's Fill Your House For Free

Expedition With Steve Backshall

Mortimer & Whitehouse: Gone Fishing

Rick Stein's French Odyssey

Dave Gorman: Terms And Conditions Apply

Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled

Iain Stirling's CelebAbility

Inside Culture With Mary Beard

The Martin Lewis Money Show Live

How To Keep A Healthy Weight With Michael Mosley

Raiders Of The Lost Past With Janina Ramirez

These are just some of the almost limitless supply of programmes where well-known and not-so-well-known people go walkabout.  Paul Merton, Michael Portillo, Chris Tarrant and so many more are annoying us.

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24.1.21 Earache at Stamford Bridge

A cold Sunday, with not much to do, but Chelsea v Luton is on BBC1 and so with a nice fire warming the room, I settle down to what should be an easy watch.  The 4th Round of the FA Cup was spoiled however, because of the earache I sustained for the full term of the game.

In the commentary box was Karen Carney, whose incessant jabbering was painful on my ears.  The need to talk was relentless, and the tone of her voice is suited not so  much to football commentary but to a torture technique that would make waterboarding a walk in the park, in comparison.

Her pronunciation of 'straight' [shtraight] was of minor concern and left me only mildly 'frushtraited' [as pronounced by KC].  I needed to listen to my Black & Decker sander for five minutes to ease my ears and cleanse myself of her awful pitch and annoying guff. 

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