26.3.19 Bad Driver of the Day

How not to drive

1 - Leave a dual carriageway too late, at high speed, and force your way on to the two lane slip road
2 - Find yourself stuck in the right lane and need to move left but there is no space
3 - Be forced to slow and take your turn in joining the left filter
4 - Tailgate
5 - As the car in front moves over to the left on the new dual carriageway, zoom past
6 - Cut across to the left lane, missing the car by 6ft at 70mph

Mad woman in a Mercedes, best described by my favourite word.
PE64 PCU

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19.3.19 The Slippery Slope

Thirty years ago, the mispronunciation of "negotiate" had established itself in the UK.  For no good reason at all, and at odds with everything linked to the English language, people were thinking how clever they were, to say "nego-see-ate" instead of "nego-she-ate".

This is "NOT NEGO-SHE-ABL" and not "NOT NEGO-SEE-ABL"

This development was an unwelcome one, and probably came about because of the well establish variation before then in relation to words with a middle 'c' rather than 't'.  Words like "association" were already on the hit list for twats deciding that "asso-see-ashun" was okay, and preferable to "asso-she-ashun".  I suppose the justification for this, in the minds of the offenders, was that 'c' offers two possibilities for pronunciation.  There is NO justification at all for changing these words, let alone "negotiate".

We are now stuck with extra hissing in our language.  The slippery slope has drawn in other examples now.  On the radio last week, and not for the first time, I heard the word "initiate" pronounced by a politician (or is that "poli-ti-see-an"?) in a most ludicrous fashion - "ini-see-ate".  What the fuck?

Last year on Radio 4 a maths professor demonstrated complete cuntishness by talking about a "ray-see-o" instead of "ray-she-o" [RATIO of course].  This obsession with hissing is in play as well on OFFICIATE, DIFFERENTIATE, APPRECIATE, SPECIES and more.

We now have to endure even more hissing, linked to the "double s" that has for my lifetime necessitated a "shoo" sound in the words "tissue" and "issue".  We now have prissy cunts who insist on over emphasising the delivery of another fucking hiss.  "Issss-you".  What the cunting fuck?

How long before the magazine seller on the street corner calls out "Big Issss-you"?  No way would such a cry yield any result from me in terms of a purchase. 

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16.3.19 Adblue At Asda

A quick search for Adblue gave me two options to choose between, plus the invaluable information that customers looking for Adblue also ordered other items, and the system felt it was relevant to offer me the opportunity of ordering a DVD called Mary and the Witch's Flower, and some strawberry yoghurts.

Never in the history of the internet has there been such a useless and pointless suggestion of further things of relevance that a shopper might like.

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10.3.19 Dear ITV

Dear ITV

Will you please give consideration to some necessary improvements in how you run your channel.

1 - Small Fortune (Saturday nights)

This pathetic effort is simply a pain to watch, and Dermot O'Dreary does absolutely nothing to convince anyone he wants to be there in favour of washing his hair.  The most obvious fury-inducing element however is the voice-over input from none other than Brian Blessed, booming his affected decibels with completely non-essential information that has determined I do not watch the programme.  The approach is a fuck-up of the one taken with The Cube.  A single episode of this Small Fortune experience was enough to point me towards watching paint dry in preference.

2 - Trailers (Every fucking day, about 100 times)

'Cheat' - Stop Ramming It Down My Throat

FUCK OFF with your relentless trailers for the same up-coming programmes.  'Cheat' has been lobbed on to my screen for three cunting fucking weeks, at every opportunity.  I will not be watching as I am sick to the cunting back teeth of the abuse inflicted on me by the controllers of ITV.  'The Bay' is another one at the moment, and we recently had 'Cleaning Up', which was always unwatchable because of  Sheridan Smith anyway, but more so what with the many weeks of being bombarded with trailers beforehand.  ITV never learns that far from promoting these programmes, the relentless touting of them with trailers is having a detrimental and opposite effect!

3 - ITV Be (The dregs of 'entertainment')

If I wanted to watch this cunting rubbish, I would tune in.  I choose NOT TO, and yet I cannot escape the continual touting of this low level, low IQ, low relevance shit!  ITV is obsessed with trying to encourage me to have some interest in utter bollocks.  Get a grip please, ITV!  The CIC* need to review just about everything, including the latest revised graphics that flick up between programmes, and in tandem with pointless trailers.

4 - Dancing On Ice (Ending today)

The Final today means that we can all move on now.  The madness of this programme is matched by the tedium of the formulaic approach.  Phil and Holly stand there telling us how each competitor has "given it their all", earning tens of thousands per episode.  Gemma Collins has this series been pandered to like fucking royalty while expecting her to skate as much as a bolder rolling across a glacier.

5 - Alastair Stewart

Please can you pay this nob off, serve notice, and save us all the sickly and creepy grimace that her delivers in lieu of a smile.  While you are at it, please dispense with the "services" of Julie (R)Etchingham, whose superior/condescending and patronising delivery is simply unwelcome.  Go and look sincere at your reflection, and see how annoying it is.


[*Cunts In Charge]

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